Guy #1: Are you gonna get tested?
Guy #2: I think the Lauren thing pretty much takes care of it.
Guy #3: You should still get tested.
Guy #2: Yeeeah, but I don’t like getting blood taken from me and I don’t have any like, symptoms, so…
Guy #3: Well, I haven’t seen your penis.
Simon Fraser University
British Columbia
Canadia
Ghetto woman, indignantly: And then he told my mama he wanted me to get tested ’cause he didn’t think the baby was his!
Ghetto man, outraged: Inconsiderate fuck! It was his, wasn’t it?
Ghetto woman: Hell no! I don’t know who I be sleeping with! [They laugh.] Bitch, please — I fuck like a squirrel!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Tiki
College girl #1: Eating raw fish makes you super fertile.
College girl #2: Really?
College girl #1: Yeah, thats why I get pregnant so much.
Japanese Restaurant
Richmond, Virginia
Ambiguous boy, yelling to friend across hall: And no pictures of me without pants!
High School
Nashville, Tennessee
Lady to friend: I don't care that it's a squash, it's still inappropriate… legs spread everywhere.
Farmers' Market
Oregon
Overheard by: Shea
Burly dude to friend: Last week I took a crap that was like having a second job.
Truck stop, I-81
Allentown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Tha WB
Teenage girl: It's like every time we get close he backs out. I can't help to think it has something to do with his penis size.
Friend: Next time just throw him over your shoulder and take him back to the cave.
Santee, California
Overheard by: Story of my life
Fat girl filling out paperwork: Did I have any problems with my pregnancy? No. Well…I lost the baby…
Asian friend: Oh, well…just put “no.”
Planned Parenthood
San Diego, California
Overheard by: CINDI
Guy to friend: He had to make a PowerPoint presentation about making PowerPoint presentation. And I had to walk him through it.
Manuel's Tavern
Atlanta, Georgia
College girl: Yeah, but I don't fuck my kids.
Friend: Well, you don't have any yet.
College girl, looking down: I can't believe I just checked my vagina before I answered that.
College Campus
SoCal, California
