Drunk girl: I’m not that drunk. I hate how when I only get a little drunk I still slur words.
–Astoria
Drunk girl: I’m not that drunk. I hate how when I only get a little drunk I still slur words.
–Astoria
Hipster girl: She was all, “Yeah, Betsy is my best friend,” and I was like, “Best friend? That is so fucking bourgeois.”
–L train
Girl: I know you made it. Look at you. You got a BlackBerry. Yeah, you made it. You got that good-smelling leather.
–Elevator, 12th & 5th
Overheard by: Thirsty Violet
Professor lady: Yes, we’ll be going into debt a lot as the semester goes on.
–Parsons School of Design
Overheard by: Ray
Teen boy: Anyone on this train wanna buy some candy? It’s not for a basketball team or something, it’s for me so I can buy more candy.
–2 train
Overheard by: Sarah
Intercom: Please take a headset before you get on the plane, because they’re free now. They’re actually free once you get on the plane, but I charge $50 labor for bringing them to you once you’re on. So it’s in your best interests to take one now. Can you tell I’m a happy person?
–LaGuardia
Chick: I’m not even gonna try applying for a Gap card; they’ll never give it to me. I don’t know what it is about Gap; they always know if you have bad credit.
–The Gap, 34th & Broadway
Overheard by: Dianora
Tween boy: What do you mean, I can’t get anything? I’m the one with a job.
–Key Food, Park Slope
Overheard by: Shack
Guy #1: I can’t believe I kissed both of them.
Guy #2: I kissed both of them too.
Guy #1: …That means I, like, kissed you…
Guy #2: …I don’t even want to talk about this.
–L train
Overheard by: Stephanie A.
Guy: I’m like your gay boyfriend.
Girl: Kind of.
Guy: …only without the gay sex part, of course.
Girl: Yes, and without the sense of style.
Guy: I don’t know if I’d say that…
Girl: See, you’re just very emotional. But you should really work on the style, ’cause it’s the best thing about the gay.
–Virgin, Union Square
Girl #1: Can you believe her? It drives me nuts!
Girl #2: Do you remember back when you were 17? You were just as bad.
Girl #1: No, I wasn’t. I didn’t walk around saying I was that hot. I may have been bad about other things, but I didn’t say I was God’s gift to everyone.
Girl #2: You were the most conceited person I knew.
Girl #1: Was not. And what the fuck do you have to bring that up and throw it in my face for? God…Forget it, I am not helping you with your Green Card.
–Queens Center Mall
Girl #1: So, I’ve been thinking, I think I could be a lesbian. You know, get really really close with a girl. But I don’t think I would want to hook up!
Girl #2: So…kinda like friends?
Girl #1: Oh yeah. I guess so.
Girl #3: So does that make us all lesbians?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Zoe Valen
Girl #1: You and Lori are friends, right?
Girl #2: Yeah, I guess. Why?
Girl #1: Curious. Did you guys talk about the guy she’s dating at all?
Girl #2: Nope. It’s hard to get past conversations that don’t have her sucking my dick. Ha, ha! Sorry.
Girl #1: Wait, what? Confused.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Ilysse Weise
Girl on cell: I cannot believe you just said that! I can’t tell my roommate…Because she’s Indian!
Girl #2: What can’t you tell her?
Girl on cell: Shh.
Girl #2: Probably outsourcing.
–Starbucks, West 4th Street & Washington Square East
Woman: People pickin’ on you in school? Where are your friends? Who you roll with?
Little boy: I’m in the second grade!
–135th & 5th
