Woman #1: I just come home to problems.
Woman #2: I come home to everything nice.
Woman #1: No, I just have problems. It’s always problems with him!
Woman #2: My cat is just right there, and he’s always fine and doesn’t complain, and that’s why I just love having a cat instead.
–Pine St & William St
Overheard by: why i don’t have a cat
Chick: I bet he’s fuh-reaky in the sack.
Friend: Definitely.
Chick: No… Like fuh-reaky… Like, not like normal freaky, how everyone needs to get it once in a while, but, like, weird freaky — like pulling up your pants and finding the closest exit. Did I ever tell you about the ice cream?
Friend, laughing: No!
Chick: This one time he was like, ‘Let’s have some fun’ and decided to tie me up. And then to, like, build anticipation or whatever, he went and got a bowl of ice cream.
Friend: Shut up!
Chick: I’m serious… And then I guess my damn cat decided he wanted a snack, too!
Friend, hysterical: Shut up! I can’t breathe!
–LIRR pulling into Penn Station
Compassionate chick, looking at homeless cats: Oooh, look at this one. It only has one eye. What happened?
Kitten rescue volunteer: Oh, it lost an eye.
–72nd & Columbus
Boy in moving car, to random boy on street: First I’m going to kill your mom, then your dad, then your dog, and then I’m going to shoot your cat!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Carolynn
Girl #1: My poop is like my cat’s.
Girl #2: Like pellets?
Girl #1: No, like chronic diarrhea.
Girl #2: Why don’t you take it to the vet?
Girl #1: I havn’t even taken myself to the doctor, so why would I bother going for the cat?
–Time Warner Building, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Girl #1: Sometimes I wanna kill your cat.
Girl #2: But I thought you hated dogs.
Girl #1: I do, but your cat always looks at me like it wants to hump my leg.
–100th & Broadway
Overheard by: Amanda Fox
Woman: It’s about an old depressed cat and her friends put her in a tire and shoot her to heaven.
–R train
Overheard by: Misha Lonergan
Teacher lady: What a deep, deep black!
Girl #1: Black like my soul.
Teacher lady: Maybe you should try pencil.
Girl #2: Wait what did you say?
Girl #1: It’s black like my soul.
Girl #2: You should get a kitty.
–Dominican Academy, East 68th Street
Overheard by: cemo
