Catholic school girl #1: Stop itching it!
Catholic school girl #2: I just can’t help it — it hurts. I’m having serious bowel problems!
–N train
Overheard by: stephanie
Catholic school girl #1: Stop itching it!
Catholic school girl #2: I just can’t help it — it hurts. I’m having serious bowel problems!
–N train
Overheard by: stephanie
Chick #1: Earl Warren was a schmuck.
Chick #2: Yeah, he was.
Chick #1: Plus, he looked like Admiral Ackbar.
–Taxi, West Side Hwy
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl #1: Why do people get glass eyes? Can you see out of them?
Girl #2: No, I don’t think so.
Girl #1: Then what’s the point?
–34th St station
Girl: Do you wanna do ‘shrooms with me?
Guy: No way, man. I don’t do drugs.
Girl: But drugs are awesome!
Guy: How about this — since there’s nothing more awesome than you, you can be my drug.
Girl: And then you can do me!
Guy: Okay… Well, that’s not really where I was going with that, but alright.
Girl: Wow, shows you where my head is at.
–86th & Broadway
Girl #1, outraged: How could you have sex without us?!
Girl #2: Relax — it was with a guy.
–Columbia University
Hobo: Miss, do you have a nickel or a dime?
Hot girl: No, I don’t.
Hobo, excitedly: Okay, thanks! Have a great weekend!
–R train
Girl: You wanna know something really, really, really fucked up?
Guy: What? Having sex with people?
–Mercer & Greene
Overheard by: waphle
Girl: Yeah, so then Bob said–
Guy: –Wait, who’s Bob?
Girl: SpongeBob.
Guy: Oh, right, right.
–Sullivan & Bleecker
Chick: Well, I don’t need to worry as much about lube because I make my own.
Queer: And we went there… We went from being drunk in church to wet vaginas in two foul seconds.
–Canal St station
Overheard by: passerby
Guy: Do you think you’d be able to take a dead fetus on a plane?
Girl: Maybe on a domestic flight.
–Barnard dorm
Overheard by: babs standigio
