20-something guy: I’ve never been to a professional sporting event.
Girl: Really?
20-something guy: Well, except for the Orioles…
–Freddy’s Bar, Dean & 6th
20-something guy: I’ve never been to a professional sporting event.
Girl: Really?
20-something guy: Well, except for the Orioles…
–Freddy’s Bar, Dean & 6th
Chick #1: What right did he have to touch me?!
Chick #2: None! Fucking pervert.
Chick #1: I don’t understand… Was the ‘Fuck off’ sign on my forehead not enough for him? … God, is there a bathroom around here? I really need to wash my hands now.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Amused
Chick: Have you ever read Catch 22?
Guy: Was it written by Dr. Seuss?
Chick: No.
Guy: Then no.
–Pace University
Overheard by: Hugh
Dressy girls, wiping faces: Ewww! What is that?! Ugh! Ewww!
Guy passerby: It’s just a little city juice. That’s all!
–Spring & Mercer
Young man: What I’d do is throw a costumed dinner party and have someone killed at the table.
Young girl: Uh-huh.
–Maiden & William St, Financial District
Chick: I hooked up with everyone. I even hooked up with my dealer.
Dude: Yeah, you did.
Chick: But I had to break up — he was too thuggish.
–1 train
Hipster girl, about shoes: Cool, there’s a cow on the side.
Hipster boy: No, it’s a sheep.
Hipster girl: Oh.
Hipster boy: Well, whatever — it’s bovine.
–Beacon’s Closet, Williamsburg
Overheard by: hipster shopper
Drunk hobo to pretty girl: You are not pretty, you are not beautiful, and no one likes you.
Pretty girl, after hobo leaves train: Why do I live in this city?!
–4 train
Guy: … And I had a really weird dream last night.
Girl: Oh, yeah? About what?
Guy: Mass murder.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Taking the stairs next time
20-something to friend: … And she said, ‘Twenty dollars? She offered me 20 dollars for bills after staying with me for a whole month? I’d wipe my ass with that 20-dollar bill!’
Hobo: One 20-dollar bill ain’t enough for that huge ass!
–23rd & 5th
