Street vendor #1: Do you have a picture of Jesus Christ in your home?
Street vendor #2: What?
Street vendor #1: Jesus — do you have his picture?
Street vendor #2: Who?
Street vendor #1: Jesus!
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Lotte
Street vendor #1: Do you have a picture of Jesus Christ in your home?
Street vendor #2: What?
Street vendor #1: Jesus — do you have his picture?
Street vendor #2: Who?
Street vendor #1: Jesus!
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Lotte
Woman #1: The kids I babysit are… I wanna say ‘satanic.’
Woman #2: Wow.
Woman #1: I know it sounds strong, but every time I’m over there they’re like, ‘Let’s think of different ways to kill Jesus.’
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Charlie
Blonde: Can you say ‘Happy Passover’ to someone?
Brunette: Passover is a happy holiday, I think. ‘Cause it’s about food and stuff.
Blonde: Okay. I wasn’t sure. ‘Cause, you know, Jesus died, so I dunno how that works. That’s not too happy…
–Olympic Diner, 8th Ave
Chick, about a shiksa: … So she asked me what Passover was, and I told her. She thought it was weird and was like, ‘I don’t celebrate killing people!’
Jewish girl: I don’t remember killing anyone.
Catholic girl: Um, Jesus?
–Barnard dorm
Overheard by: Isn’t it nice we can discuss this candidly?
Trendy female customer: I like your Jesus necklace. Do you believe in Jesus the Almighty?
Sales dude: I do.
Trendy female customer: As you should.
–Marc Jacobs, Bleecker
Overheard by: Andrea Quijano
Homeless man: You need to pray to Jesus everyday. Do you thank Jesus for your food or your family or the newspaper? The devil is killing you through newspapers and the media. Are you thankful to Jesus? He loves you if you talk to him everyday.
Queer: I would be thankful to Jesus if you would stop shouting in my ear so I can listen to Beyonce’s newest album.
–N train
Overheard by: Brina Guild
Headline by: kempadimes
Runners-Up:
· “Is my Savior too bootylicious?” – Mdaneman
· “Jesulicious” – Mark Schilsky
· “Jesus loves me, this I know. A fucking hobo tells me so.” – Extra Character
· “Jesus saves souls, not careers” – Megan
· “Some messiahs are so high-maintenance” – N. A. Cargo
Black guy: I’m Jesus!
Woman: No, you’re not.
Black guy: Lady, I’m Jesus!
–A train
Overheard by: LSB
Dude #1: Mel Gibson is making movies?
Dude #2: Is he the guy who invented Jesus?
–13th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Dean
Bimbette: What’s the plural of ‘Jesus’? Jesuses? Jesi?
Friend: Why would you ever need to pluralize ‘Jesus’? There’s only one!
Bimbette: Well, like, if you were at a Halloween party or something and you had to tell your friend ‘There were, like, eight Jesi at the party last night!’
Friend: Just stop talking.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Irasian
Middle school girl #1: Jesus is Jewish!
Middle school boy: No, he isn’t.
Middle school girl #1: Yes, he is!
Middle school girl #2: Of course, he’s not Jewish anymore — he’s dead.
–Rego Park
Overheard by: josh
