Wednesday One-Liners Too Ashamed to Wear Last Year's Blahniks

Lady looking at another woman's Roman sandals: I don't like those Jesus-lookin' sandals!

–The Village

Girl: Do flats make your butt look big?

–9th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Matt Morgan

Guy with faux-hawk: You know in Pee-wee's Big Adventure, after he loses his bike and everyone around him is riding bicycles? I feel that way with high-tops right now.

–14th & 1st

Overheard by: Heather

(trendy, skinny, Upper West Side woman on sidewalk is staring down at her feet and looking concerned)
Preppy 30-something boyfriend: I think your toes look better in those sandals.

–86th & Broadway

Overheard by: Sushene

Girl: My uncle is gay, like, flying-out-of-his-loafers gay.

–W 67th & Broadway

Overheard by: magical-newyork.blogspot.com

Female cop to two male cops: So he's standing there, really well dressed, nice shoes, and all of a sudden he pulls out this big, big (voice drops) boner, and says "Give me the shoes!"

–Continental Ave Station, Forest Hills

Posted on February 11, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boyfriends, Cops, Coworkers, Farting & Burping, Fashion, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Jesus, Movies, Offers and requests, Physical appearance, Preppies, Queens, Questions, Shoes, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Women, Words

Virgins Exist?

Mom, reading about unicorns to ten-year-old son: The unicorn was a symbol of Christ, its head in the virgin Mary’s lap…
Son: Wait, wait, wait! Mary was a virgin?!

–Museum of Natural History, Mythic Creatures Exhibit

Posted on January 1, 2018
Animals & Nature, Boys, Default, Jesus, Kids, Moms, Museum of Natural History, Questions, Upper East Side, Virginity

Christianity, Everybody’s Favorite S&M Religion

Guy to girlfriend, watching Easter Passion procession, complete with Christ carrying cross: Oh my god, they’re whipping him! That’s great, that’s brilliant… I love this neighborhood.

–12th St & Ave A

Overheard by: Porkido

Posted on September 30, 2017
Default, Guys, Holidays, Jesus, Street, Union Square and East Village, Violence, Weirdness

And Then He Gave Us Candy

Kid #1, bouncing basketball on the sidewalk: Jesus was like: “Go back to earth and suffer… Or your ass is going to hell.”
Kid #2: Yeah…

–Bushwick Ave & Meserole St, East Williamsburg

Posted on July 12, 2017
Boys, Default, Jesus, Kids, Offers and requests, Threats, Williamsburg

And I Did Promise to Stop Being a Weirdo

Crazy, loud hobo on train, repeating: “Jesus” is a six letter word! “666” means the devil! So, Jesus is the devil!
Fed-up passenger: Hey asshole, “Jesus” is 5 letters, not six!
Crazy hobo, pensive: Well, shit, there goes my whole argument.

–5 Train

Posted on March 18, 2016
Crazies, Hobos, Jesus, On the Subway, Passengers, Satan, Weirdness, Words

Let's See If He Comes Back, Okay?

Jew for Jesus, holding out pamphlet: Here, have one.
Woman: Hmm?
Jew for Jesus: It's about Jesus!
Woman: Oh, I'm not interested in him. I thought it was about Michael Jackson.

–The High Line

Overheard by: emily