Girl: And he’s like, “Are you pregnant?”
Guy: Is that how straight people ask if you got laid?
Girl: No, but I’m kinda worried.
Guy: Yeah. My friends from high school got pregnant like one after the other.
Girl: Ew.
Guy: It was like abort over here, abort over there.
Girl: I’m scared.
Guy: We was killing baby fetuses every week.
–Christopher & Gay
Woman: Well, everybody poops.
Man: That’s the title of a book.
Woman: I know. I was making a literary reference.
–Bowlmor Lanes, University Place
Overheard by: djlindee
Woman #1: It’s flushed like 3 times and I haven’t even sat down yet!
Woman #2: It can already tell your ass is dirty.
–AMC Empire 25 ladies’ room, West 42nd Street
Overheard by: Lalaith
Tween boy: Would you like to buy some candy?
Woman #1: No.
Woman #2: No thanks.
Tween boy: Okay, how about a threesome?
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: rhett
Dad: Do you think I want to talk about princesses 24 hours a day?
Little girl: No.
Dad: What do you think I want to talk about?
Little girl: Star Wars.
–Rector & Greenwich
Guy #1: Yeah, and she had tits like eggplants.
Guy #2: And they were hairy?
Guy #1: Yeah, the hairs were like this long and black.
Guy #2: That’s fucking sick.
–Penn Station
Tourist dude: What’s a…knish?
Tourist chick: I think it’s like…a Hot Pocket?
–42nd & Park
Overheard by: JayBee
Teen girl #1: We’re not going to KFC! Their food is, like, poison.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, they kill their chickens alive.
–96th & Lexington
Overheard by: AG
Old lady: Excuse me, how do I get to the second floor?
Intern chick: You just press “2” and wait for the elevator to go up.
Old lady: They just tell you what floor the exhibit is on, but they don’t tell how to get there!
–New-York Historical Society elevator, Central Park West
Overheard by: Ybelka
Girl: Come sign for this. I can’t, I’m not 21 yet.
Guy: It’s a bookstore, nigga, not the Feds!
–The Strand
