Guy #1: Excuse me, sir, but do you know you’re white?
Guy #2: Yes, I do know that. Now will you stop following me?
–40th & 8th
Overheard by: Suriya
Guy #1: Excuse me, sir, but do you know you’re white?
Guy #2: Yes, I do know that. Now will you stop following me?
–40th & 8th
Overheard by: Suriya
Guy #1: So that Egyptian baby girl with two heads died. A brain infection from when they removed the extra head.
Guy #2: Is this real or from the Weekly World News?
Guy #1: No, it’s real. The extra head could only smile and blink.
Guy #3: So the extra head could give head…It had a use…Ha, ha, ha!
Guy #1: You are really a sick motherfucker.
–51st & Lexington
Guy: I don’t need a bag, thanks.
Store lady: You’re going to carry that in your hand?
Guy: Yeah.
Store lady: That’s fine with me. I love customers who don’t want bags.
Guy: Why waste them, right?
Store lady: Yeah. People need to recycle. They keep cutting down more and more trees for these bags.
Guy: …Yeah.
Store lady: Plastic bags are made out of trees, right?
Guy: …Well, no…
Store lady: Oh, I think it’s paper bags that are made out of trees.
–Duane Reade, 22nd & Park
Girl: And he’s like, “Are you pregnant?”
Guy: Is that how straight people ask if you got laid?
Girl: No, but I’m kinda worried.
Guy: Yeah. My friends from high school got pregnant like one after the other.
Girl: Ew.
Guy: It was like abort over here, abort over there.
Girl: I’m scared.
Guy: We was killing baby fetuses every week.
–Christopher & Gay
Woman: Well, everybody poops.
Man: That’s the title of a book.
Woman: I know. I was making a literary reference.
–Bowlmor Lanes, University Place
Overheard by: djlindee
Woman #1: It’s flushed like 3 times and I haven’t even sat down yet!
Woman #2: It can already tell your ass is dirty.
–AMC Empire 25 ladies’ room, West 42nd Street
Overheard by: Lalaith
Tween boy: Would you like to buy some candy?
Woman #1: No.
Woman #2: No thanks.
Tween boy: Okay, how about a threesome?
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: rhett
Dad: Do you think I want to talk about princesses 24 hours a day?
Little girl: No.
Dad: What do you think I want to talk about?
Little girl: Star Wars.
–Rector & Greenwich
Guy #1: Yeah, and she had tits like eggplants.
Guy #2: And they were hairy?
Guy #1: Yeah, the hairs were like this long and black.
Guy #2: That’s fucking sick.
–Penn Station
Tourist dude: What’s a…knish?
Tourist chick: I think it’s like…a Hot Pocket?
–42nd & Park
Overheard by: JayBee
