Syccophant: Our desk chairs suck.
Amazon fashionista: I’m happy.
Syccophant: And amazingly beautiful.
–19th & 5th
Overheard by: scarfaccio
Syccophant: Our desk chairs suck.
Amazon fashionista: I’m happy.
Syccophant: And amazingly beautiful.
–19th & 5th
Overheard by: scarfaccio
Mother to little girl: Eat your vegetables.
Little girl: I’m opposed to vegetables.
Father: Hey, your brother is opposed to dating women, and apparently we’re letting that one slide.
–Jackson Hole, 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Casey girl
Tourist guy: Excuse me, do you work here?
Uniformed employee: Yes…
Tourist guy: Oh good. Is this Central Park?
Uniformed employee: No, this is Dale and Thomas Popcorn.
Tourist guy: Oh, well the bus guide said this was it. Where is it?
Uniformed employee, pointing north: Just walk that way.
Tourist guy: Well that’s not much help, how the hell am I supposed to find it?
Uniformed employee: Oh trust me, you’ll find it.
Tourist guy: HOW?
Uniformed employee: IT’S A BIG FUCKING PARK!
–Dale and Thomas Popcorn, 48th & Broadway
Old man: Oh, yes. Now I remember him.
Medical assistant: Well I’d hope you’d remember him after he stuck his finger in your butt!
–outside urology clinic, 9th & University
Overheard by: Aerialist
Woman: I find the suburbs to be extremely frightening. I know they all have air conditioning, but still…
–6 train
Twentysomething guy: The quality of life here is so bad…I mean, if you enjoy drinking all night and having random sex, you’ll like living in New York.
–5th Ave & 9th St
Casting person: Ok, here’s the problem, they don’t wan’t a baby with a huge head compared to his chest, nor do they want to see gross veins all over its chest. They want the fucking Gerber baby, ok?
–38th between 7th & 8th
Friend to new mother with infant: All babies look great in black. Did you know that?
–Madison & 91st
Overheard by: Kelly Smith
Woman: Actually, now that they’ve started talking, the twins are much less creepy.
–Central Park
Man on cell: I love you baby, but I just can’t be looking at your face everyday like that.
–Union Square
Guy to friend: She had that ugly-ass quality about her.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Sarah
Black guy to his dad: You have to help me. My cock is turning into one of those fucking curly fries.
–71st & Continental
Woman: So I told him, if that’s the urethra you got the wrong hole.
–115th & Broadway
Very old homeless woman to sleeping homeless man: You don’t even know how good looking you are!
–28th & 3rd
Overheard by: juju
Little boy: I want your DNA.
–Metro-North train
Overheard by: Helen V.
Ghetto teen: If Jesus was with you, he’d smack you over the head and call you a dick!
–A train
Overheard by: Josh Jasper
Girl to friends: Do either of you have a really nice picture of Jesus? I need to make an ashtray.
–7th & A
Overheard by: Ty!
