Girl: Ew, I don’t even want to think about it. Cunnilingus.
Guy #1: Of course you think it’s gross if you call it that.
Guy #2: It’s just Latin.
Guy #1: It’s vulgar Latin.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jeeves
Girl: Ew, I don’t even want to think about it. Cunnilingus.
Guy #1: Of course you think it’s gross if you call it that.
Guy #2: It’s just Latin.
Guy #1: It’s vulgar Latin.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jeeves
Lady hobo: ‘ey, you got the Boys Gone Crazy?
Cashier Dude You mean Girls Gone Wild?
Lady hobo: Yeah man, girls gone crazy, whatever, it’ll do.
–Fantasy World, 7th Ave
Vendor: I hate customers like you, with your big bills for a 95-cent drink.
Ghetto thug: I could always shoot your old ass, and have the soda for free if that makes making change any easier.
–207th & Broadway
Female lawyer: So what nationality are you?
Male lawyer: Scandinavian.
Female lawyer: Cool…. Where is Scandinavia?
Male lawyer shakes head and walks away.
–1st precinct
Overheard by: crackerjack
ER admitting doctor with infinite patience: It’s just sore gums, probably from flossing. No need to worry.
Baroness Munchaussen: But it could get infected, right? And I could die, right?
Doctor: Has anyone ever died from this in the history of mankind? Maybe. But you could also walk out of the hospital and be hit by a bus. You have a better chance of that happening.
Baroness: So you’re saying I could die from this, and I shouldn’t leave the hospital?
–St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital Emergency Room
Hot chick: So, I just wanted to let you know I’m just coming out of a relationship.
Buff dude: Oh. Well, then I should tell you that I used to be a stripper in Chicago.
Hot chick: Hmm…I have herpes.
Buff dude: That’s ok, I have two cats.
–Scruffy Duffy’s, 8th Ave between 46th & 47th
Crackhead: If my wife looked like you, I would stop smoking crack and get a job.
Businessgirl: Thanks.
–53rd & 7th
Coach lecturing a mesmerized group of prefrosh: I am able to diagnose psychological issues very accurately because I used to suffer from them myself. So, for example, your typical goth girl will have below-average self-esteem. Girls who dance with their hands above their heads or who are obsessed about their purses date a lot and also suffer from low self-esteem.
–Downtown 1 train, 86th Street
Overheard by: Daniel
Guy 1: What did you do this weekend?
Guy 2: Masturbate. You?
–Union Square theater
Student #1: I don’t think we learned anything.
Student #2: Well, did you do the reading?
Student #1: No.
Student #2: Well, what did you expect?
Student #1: I don’t like to read. I like to be taught.
–Elevator, NYU School of Continuing & Professional Studies, 42nd & 5th
Overheard by: Josh Barro
