Guy at register: So, where do you go to college?
Girl checking out with mom: Erm, Wellesley.
Guy at register: Oh no way! I went to Wellesley! How is it these days?
–Columbia University
Guy at register: So, where do you go to college?
Girl checking out with mom: Erm, Wellesley.
Guy at register: Oh no way! I went to Wellesley! How is it these days?
–Columbia University
Very old lady to husband: You asshole! YOU ASSHOLE! I hate you.
Old husband: Wha?
Old lady: You didn’t wait for me, you fucking asshole.
–Clearview Cinemas, 62nd & 1st
Queer clerk: Am I sort of red here? [points at forehead]
Chick clerk: Um, no. Well, actually, kinda.
Queer clerk: Yeah, I knew that when his thing hit me there last night, it was going to leave a mark.
–The Pleasure Chest, 7th Ave S
Overheard by: office peon does nyc
Eva Amurri to hipster companion: My father was telling me the dangers of aspartame — you know the stuff in Diet Coke? It’s like a sugar. It was once registered as a chemical weapon.
Hipster companion: Yeah?
Eva Amurri: If there is any way to become a superhero, it has to be by drinking Diet Coke.
[later]
Eva Amurri to hipster companion: I can’t remember how it ends… If he dies in a war or if Gatsby gets in a car crash, but he loves Daisy.
[later still]
Eva Amurri: Pasties are Band-Aids that only cover your nipples.
–Acela train leaving Penn Station
Overheard by: could you maybe namedrop your mom less, Miss Top-Volume-At-All-Times?
Nebraska girl #1: It feels like it’s raining.
Nebraska girl #2: I think it’s coming from the set.
Pause
Nebraska girl #3: Where’s it coming from?…Oh, it’s actually raining.
–John St., near filming of Spiderman 3
Overheard by: Fishy
Girl: Well, Christy works with three people who are getting sex changes.
Guy: Yeah, but she works at a vegan restaurant.
–Ave A & St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: jenny wallace
Old lady to old guy: You’re sitting on my dress!
Old guy: Oh, I’m so sorry.
Old lady: Do you enjoy sitting on women?!
Old guy: Well, it depends on how old they are.
–M1 bus
Asian guy: The freshman at Stuyvesant are more attractive than the sophomores this year.
Asian girl: That’s because they lowered the standards for them last year. And dumber people are obviously way hotter than smarter ones.
–Tasty Dumplings, Chinatown
Street vendor: Watches — five dollars.
Guy: Five dollars? What’s the catch?
Street vendor becomes nervous and looks around.
Street vendor: They’ll never catch me!
— Fulton St
Overheard by: elephant
Stoner #1: Yo, why did newsboys used to shout “Extra!” when they’d sell papers?
Stoner #2: I don’t know… maybe the news was about.. like… X-Men… like, mutants…
Stoner #1: Yeah… true… maybe.
–University & 8th
Overheard by: Alyson Leigh
