Tourist lady: Excuse me, is this Central Park?
New York man: Uh, yes, this is.
Tourist lady: Are you sure? It seems a little off-center to me.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Off-center Dog Walker
Tourist lady: Excuse me, is this Central Park?
New York man: Uh, yes, this is.
Tourist lady: Are you sure? It seems a little off-center to me.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Off-center Dog Walker
Teen on cell: So how do I get to your office? Wait, which way is east? Towards the river? What river? I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF TIMES SQUARE, I DON’T SEE A FUCKIN RIVER! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ASK SOMEONE WHERE THE FUCKING RIVER IS? MANHATTAN’S AN ISLAND, THERE’S RIVER ALL OVER THE PLACE!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Woman #1: And I told him, I mean, you wanna gamble, you got to go to Las Vegas or Atlantic City. You out there gamblin in Brooklyn where they don’t give you part credit if you part right.
Woman #2: Mmm hmmm.
Woman #1: They lost 10,000 in one day. If you in Las Vegas, at least it’s still a trip. Go outside and get on the roller coaster. Get some buffet. But if you in Brooklyn, you still in Brooklyn when you done gamblin.
–4/5 train
Guy #1: So, is that Central Park over there? [points to a particularily wooded area across 6th avenue]
Guy #2: Nope.
Guy #1: So then it’s Union Square, right?
Guy #2: Nope, it’s neither.
Guy #1: So basically, those are just a bunch of trees?
Guy #2: Yup.
–MacDougal & Bleecker
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound…
[Long pause]
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound Manhattan train…oh damnit.
[long pause]
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound Manhattan train approaching Nevins Avenue.
Guy: It’s Nevins Street, lady! The stop before that is Atlantic Avenue.
Lady: That person needs to go the fuck back on strike. She went 0 for fucking 3.
–Nevins Street station
Overheard by: Luke
Guido: Hey you talk to me like that again, and I’ll talk to my people, who’ll talk to your people. And I’ll have you buried under Yankee Stadium with JFK.
Other guy: Don’t you mean under Giants Stadium with Jimmy Hoffa?
Guido: Whatever!
–Madison Square Garden
Little boy #1: Do you live on the Upper West Side?
Little boy #2: Well, technically yes and technically no.
Little boy #1: Okay, see you tomorrow.
–85th & Amsterdam
Teacher guy: You guys know that clock in Union Square that goes
backwards, right?
Teen girl: But why does it change?
–Midwood High School
Tourist lady: Excuse me, can you tell me which way Times Square is?
Guy: Um…really? Turn around lady.
–49th & 7th
Overheard by: Gregory
Promoter guy: This your first time at the Empire State Building?
Dude: Yeah, it is.
Promoter guy: Cool. Where are you from?
Dude: Native New Yorker.
Promoter guy: I don’t want to talk to you.
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
