Guy: It’s so crazy, you know, leaving Manhattan.
Girl: I know, if you would have told me five years ago that I’d be living in Brooklyn I’d have laughed at you.
–L train
Overheard by: Benjamin
Guy: It’s so crazy, you know, leaving Manhattan.
Girl: I know, if you would have told me five years ago that I’d be living in Brooklyn I’d have laughed at you.
–L train
Overheard by: Benjamin
Guy: I’m doing a house in the Hamptons, but I only know one person, this one girl. So I get an e-mail to meet everyone for drinks on Thursday, and I look at the names and it’s girl girl girl, girl girl, Santos, girl girl girl…and I’m like, “OK, am I the only guy in this house?”. And she said there’s a couple other guys coming out for 1 or 2 weekends. So I’m like, “OK, all girls, that’s cool. Are they cute?” and she says, “Yeah, they’re all cute.” So I said, “Well, I’m not matching the first couple weeks, they’ll think I’m gay!” She said, “Yeah don’t match, they’ll think you’re gay.” So I’m not matching. Plus they’re going to see “Santos” and think I’m freakin’…card-carrying…freakin’…off the boat, just swam the…freakin’ Florida canal…from Cuba or something.
–V train
Overheard by: kt
Guy #1: It’s really great that we have Central Park, you know? It makes the city so great in the summer.
Guy #2: Yeah, I know. It’s great to be this close to nature.
Girl: Also, the trees must make a lot of oxygen for the city.
Guy #1: That is true.
Guy #2: I bet some of it also comes from Jersey.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Lora
Tween girl: …when her water broke, she rode her bike to the hospital. How ghetto is that?
–B44 bus
Lady: They better give me my money back or I’m gonna get 7 on my side!
–K-mart, Staten Island
Overheard by: tony
Store guy on cell: Nah, man I can’t go out tonight! I’m broke! I just paid for an abortion.
–Pathmark, Cherry Street
Overheard by: Jubie D.
Suit: I need to go uptown, where they know the difference between a hot dog and a frankfurter.
–The Water Club, E. 23rd Street
Overheard by: Dave
Beach guy: I’ve seen what happens to people that go in that water. They become mutants.
Beach girl: Our lives can only be improved by becoming mutants.
–Jacob Riis Park
Tourist guy: We’re staying down on Two Avenue. Now do they say Two Avenue or Second Avenue here?
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Chess
Tourist woman: We’re in Manhattan, right?
–Times Square
Tourist girl: Can’t we like, just call a cab? You know, like, “Hi, we need a cab, pick us up here?”
–42nd between Broadway & 6th
Overheard by: Heather Hunter
Tourist guy: Do they just breed dogs smaller here, or what?
–Broadway & Astor
Overheard by: jillypickle
Chick on phone: Where is Argentina?…Is there a beach?
–Madison Avenue office
Tourist guy: You know, for such a big city, it’s funny that New York has no rivers.
–Q train
Overheard by: Eva D
Navy lady: So he tried to tell me that this was the Empire State Building, but it’s Trump Tower!
–Columbus Circle
Guy: Did you hear about the Hasidic Jew that fell off the upper deck at Yankee Stadium and landed on the field?
Girl: Uh, no.
Guy: Never mind. Maybe it’s just an urban legend.
–Ozone Park
Guy #1: You know, like the velvet tracksuits that everyone’s dads wore when we were growing up.
Guy #2: We didn’t all grow up on Long Island.
–6th & A
Overheard by: Phenders
Crazy Hasid: Who are the three greatest Jewish lawyers of all time? Roy Cohen, Roy Cohen, Roy Cohen, Johnny Cochran, Alan Dershowitz. Who are the three greatest doctors of all time? Dr. Dolittle, Dr. Dolittle, Dr. Dolittle, Alan Dershowitz.
–F train
Overheard by: bluesdog
Jewess on cell: You know, I love Great Neck, but I don’t know. I have to consider it. I’m not super Jewish and he’s not super Jewish. And you know how Jews are. They can be nice to non-Jews, but they can be caustic to other Jews.
–Union Square
Lady: I just don’t get smoking, or people who smoke…smoking and bacon; I don’t get it.
–UWS elevator
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
