Queer: Where does Dusty work?
Girl: At a church by Spring Street.
Queer: What does he do?
Girl: He’s an administrative assistant.
Queer: An administrative assistant to God?
–Union Square
Queer: Where does Dusty work?
Girl: At a church by Spring Street.
Queer: What does he do?
Girl: He’s an administrative assistant.
Queer: An administrative assistant to God?
–Union Square
Middle schooler #1: Yo, is there, like, a gay country?
Middle schooler #2: Hell no, son!
Middle schooler #3: Naaah. There is. I think it’s called ‘The Village,’ but I don’t know where it is.
–Brooklyn Middle School
Hobo: Where the fuck is Park Avenue? What is going on? What the fuck? Where the fuck is Park Avenue?
Girl: If you just take a right at the next street and keep going, you’ll hit it.
Hobo: I don’t fucking care! If I had a gun I’d fucking shoot you! Pow!
–87th & 2nd
Woman: Move in, motherfuckers, move in!
Yuppie guy: Wait for the next one, this is too packed.
Woman: Bitch, I have to be on this train!
Yuppie guy: This isn’t the train to heaven, you know. It’s, like, going to Queens.
–F train
Overheard by: Nickicaps
Six-year-old kid to lost-looking mother: So, where's downtown?
Mom: Well, it's not uptown!
–42nd Street Subway Station
Overheard by: Excellent deduction, Watson.
Man reading book: Oh, what stop is this?
Man exiting train: 96th Street. By the way, you really do have the most beautiful hands and fingers I’ve ever seen.
Man reading book: Oh, thanks.
–96th St station
Pretty tourist #1: Do you think they'll ever have the Tour de France in New York?
Pretty tourist #2: No, you moron. (beat) There aren't enough hills.
–47th & 7th, Fashion District
Overheard by: Zac
Boy, 7: Daddy, I wanna see the Empire State Building.
Father: Sorry, son. That’s way uptown and we’re headed downtown.
–48th & Broadway
Overheard by: Christopher Mignemi
Tourist guy: What’s that building over there?
Tourist chick: That’s the Empire State Building, silly.
Tourist guy: Oh…yeah.
–Empire State Building observation deck
Overheard by: Nicholas West
Girl tourist #1: Oh my gosh, look at what that guy is wearing!
Girl tourist #2: Ew. Blue jacket, striped shirt, black pants, brown shoes with no socks. That’s terrible.
Girl tourist #1: Yeah, but, he can do that, right?
Girl tourist #2: Uh, no. Hello, nobody can get away with that.
Girl tourist #1: But, no, he can do that because he’s, like, really from New York.
–LaGuardia Airport
