Black chick #1: C’mon.
Black chick #2: Alright, alright, what’s the rush?
Black chick #1: C’mon, I wanna see some white boys dancing.
–Outside Gazebo nightclub, 93rd St & 4th Ave, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Capn MidNite
Black chick #1: C’mon.
Black chick #2: Alright, alright, what’s the rush?
Black chick #1: C’mon, I wanna see some white boys dancing.
–Outside Gazebo nightclub, 93rd St & 4th Ave, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Capn MidNite
Girl #1: How are you so fucking skinny!? All I see you do is eat, eat, and eat some fucking more! We just came from Dunkin fucking Donuts where you had a bagel and a fucking muffin! Now you’re eating fucking chocolate! How are you so fucking skinny!? You’re a fucking freak of nature!
Girl #2: Yo, shut the fuck up or I’ll vomit all over your fat ass!
–Q88 bus
Overheard by: Jackie
Man: You know, there was this electric wheelchair woman, she saw the bus coming and like, zipped right in front of us so we couldn’t get on.
Bus driver: Yeah man, they’re fast, those electric ones.
Man: Yeah.
Bus driver: And vicious.
–M15 bus downtown
Overheard by: running late for work
Old lady to old guy: You’re sitting on my dress!
Old guy: Oh, I’m so sorry.
Old lady: Do you enjoy sitting on women?!
Old guy: Well, it depends on how old they are.
–M1 bus
Girl on cell: I feel so dirty…He rubbed oil all over my body. He’s short, but he has blue eyes…so hot…I’d let him crawl all over me!
–Hoboken PATH
Old blind woman singing for money in the train: I’ll rub hot oil all over your body … and God bless the child, that’s got his own, that’s got his own.
–F train downtown
Hobo lady: I been pussy fucked; I been ass fucked; I been titty fucked–and that was fun–but there ain’t no love like the love of Jesus.
–M15 bus
Overheard by: Ben Beckley
Woman on cell: It’s just so different from the other South American countries, it’s just — it’s more European. I mean, Alex had blue eyes, you know? Blue eyes! There just weren’t any….what was that word you just said? Say that again?…Yes, there wasn’t any of that.
–M103 bus, Upper East Side
Overheard by: Noah Gallagher
Guy: [something in Spanish]… how do you say “altar boy”? You know, the ones whose little dicks the priest sucks?
–7th & Ave A
Overheard by: Jenny B
Teen girl #1: Here comes Peter Cottontail. . .
Teen girl #2: Hopping up the bunny trail!
Teen girl #1: What the hell? It’s down the bunny trail, you idiot!
Teen girl #2: How am I supposed to know? I was MJ’ed when I was younger.
Teen girl #1: MJ’ed?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, you know, Michael Jacksoned…
Teen girl #1: They molested you?!
Teen girl #2: Yes, they molested me and that’s why I don’t know the words to Peter Cottontail… whorebag.
–M96 bus
Overheard by: TrEeShA
Teacher lady: Kids, kids…Quiet! Remember, no one else on this train likes children!
–F train
Overheard by: Erin Schulte
Woman #1: So I fucked this guy last night.
Woman #2: Really? Cool.
Woman #1: Yeah, it was kinda hard trying to get the cum out of my work clothes…
Woman #2: Mm-hmm, I heard that vinegar and Tide can get that right out.
–B68 bus
Overheard by: Trevlond
