The Wheels on the Wednesday-One Liners Go Round and Round

Bus driver: Attention, ladies and gentlemen, I have an idea: the next stop is going to be Las Vegas! Vegas, y’all! Get out those cell phones and start calling your husbands and wives. Tell ’em you won’t be home tonight. Vegas!

–M103 bus

Overheard by: Tina

Bus driver: Everyone, please move to the back of the bus…Come on, people. I’m speaking English here. Move to the back of the bus so these people can get on. There’s nothing wrong with the back of the bus. It’s not scary. There are no monsters back there. You won’t get hurt. So please move back.

–Q12 bus, Main Street, Flushing

Overheard by: Jo

Bus driver: This is Westchester Ave. Here you can transfer to the 9 and the…uh…I don’t even remember. Hey, you back there! You look like Charles Bronson! You ever heard that?…Whateva. You know you look like Charles Bronson. And the world needs another Charles Bronson.

–Bx40 bus, E Tremont Ave

Overheard by: vegannramember

Posted on August 16, 2006
Bus, Bus Drivers, Cars and Driving, Cell Phone, Crazies, Fears, Languages, On the Bus, Public Transportation, Travel

Cream Rinse

Teenage girl #1: Well, did you know he was going to come all over your chest, or was that a suprise?
Teenage girl #2: I don’t think he even realized he was doing it.
Teenage girl #1: Oh…I think I see some of it in your hair.

–Crosstown bus, 79th St

Overheard by: very interested

Posted on August 13, 2006
Cum, Hair, Hootchies, On the Bus, Rack, Teens

He Means ‘Know Him’ in the Biblical Sense

Bus driver stops in the middle of the street to pick up a friend. A second, random guy hurries on the bus as well.

Bus driver, to random guy: Yo, this ain’t no bus stop.
Random guy: Oh, I saw you pick him up, so…
Bus driver: Yeah, well I know him.
Random guy: Hi, I’m Dan.

–M1 bus, 110th & Madison

Posted on August 7, 2006
Blue-collar workers, Cars and Driving, Friendship, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Manhattan, On the Bus

So He’s Tied For First

School bus driver: He think he the best driver around. Then I reminded him, he the one that hit that little girl.

–B77 bus, Red Hook

Posted on August 4, 2006
Bus Drivers, On the Bus, Public Transportation

Yuppie Child Enters Lifelong Apprenticeship

Little girl, reading children’s book aloud: Mariko is Japanese. She eats sushi.
Mom: But we know that [pointing to picture] is actually sashimi.

–M86 bus

Overheard by: Caitlin

Posted on July 30, 2006
Books & Writing, Ethnic Food, Kids, Moms, On the Bus

Mom Gets Her Inner Ho-Bag Out of the Garage

Man: It was nice to meet you. Now will you shake my hand?
Little boy: No.
Man: Why not?
Little boy: Because she gave you her number, but she already has a boyfriend! I don’t like that.
Woman: Shut up. That’s not true.
Little boy: If it isn’t, then why did it say “Jason and Trish, together forever” on your phone, when I turned it on right now?
Woman: Together forever, my ass; now shut up!

–Q37 bus, Liberty Ave

Posted on July 30, 2006
Cell Phone, Hootchies, Infidelity, Kids, Lies, Men, MILF, Moms, On the Bus, Parents, Pick-up Lines, Talking/Convos

We Can Get Those Two Chicks. They Seemed Interested in Some Hot Dogs and Beer.

Bus driver stops in the middle of the street, opens the door, and yells out: Hey! I called you last night, why you didn’t answer? Yeah, I’m working now…What you doing this weekend? Wanna go fishing? Let’s do barbeque. What? Yeah, yeah, man, let’s get some barbeque going. Okay, I have to work now. I’ll call you later tonight.

–Bell Boulevard, Queens

Posted on July 29, 2006
On the Bus, People, Queens

In Los Angeles, They Would Both Be Executed

Unattractive girl #1: She was so ugly. I mean like Staten Island ugly.
Unattractive girl #2: I think those people are around to balance out the ridiculously attractive people in Manhattan.

–Uptown 1st Ave bus

Overheard by: amf

Posted on July 27, 2006
Beauty, Biotechs, On the Bus, Philosophy

Just When You Think Humanity Is One Species

Black woman #1, looking at the Time Warner Center: I haven’t been in there yet. But you know it’s not for us.
Black woman #2: Why did they put a J Crew in there? J Crew ain’t never got nothing.
Black woman #1: I know. If anything, they should have put a Kohl’s. They got Kohl’s in there?

–Uptown M7 bus

Overheard by: Always listening to other people’s conversations