Little boy: Where are we going?
Mom: Don’t you know where we’re going? Don’t you?
Little boy: Yeah! I’m just testing you! I’m just testing you!
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Helen V.
Little boy: Where are we going?
Mom: Don’t you know where we’re going? Don’t you?
Little boy: Yeah! I’m just testing you! I’m just testing you!
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Helen V.
Lady #1: Is this express?
Lady #2, looking at her purse: Oh no, this is Prada
Lady #3: I think she was asking about the bus.
Lady #2: Oh…Can you believe I got this on sale?
–M4 Bus, going down 5th Ave
Overheard by: Lil wayne
Girl: If I were a lesbian, I’d totally go for her!
Guy: Who?
Girl: Priscilla! Well…I mean, if she weren’t my sister.
–M23 Bus
Overheard by: Claire
Queer: Fuck you! I’m a smart gay!
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Keesha Brown
Accidental ironist: Yeah, obviously he has no sense of smartness.
–68th & Lex
Overheard by: Casti
Hipster guy: I erased two years of my life with drugs. Two solid years! But I’m too smart to erase more than that.
–Chinatown bus
Girl on cell: They said that I’m smart, and that I can articulate well. But I’m not… you know… Oh, whatever.
–Queensboro Community College
Overheard by: LizDayglow
Tween boy to dad: I’m looking for a girl who’s younger and smarter.
–71st & West End
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Dork #1: Is that a stick in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Dork #2: What? What did you say?
Dork #1: Never mind, man.
Dork #2: Is it penis? Are you talking about penis again? I’VE HAD ENOUGH. No more penis.
–M96 bus
Overheard by: Lauren Michelle
Teen girl: Is the universe, like, the whole world or just the United States?
Guy: Dude, it’s, like, everything in existence.
Ghetto guy: Nuh-uh! It’s just like a group. Our universe is the Milky Way.
Guy: You’re an idiot. It includes the Milky Way, but that’s not what it is.
Ghetto guy: I went to four years of high school. I think I would know.
–M96 bus
Overheard by: Treesha
Chick #1: Yeah, so I kinda wanna go to the wedding, you know, to see the spectacle.
Chick #2: Mm-hmm.
Chick #1: But on the other hand, I don’t want it to seem like she has any friends.
–Q65A bus
Overheard by: christine
Little Asian boy: Guess what? I did it twice already this morning.
Mom: Did what?
Little Asian boy: Touch myself!
–Uptown M104 bus
Overheard by: Barry P.
Queer: Oh my God, I hope that guy over there thinks I’m cute.
Hag: Oh no, I hope I’m not pregnant.
–Uptown 1 train
Overheard by: cooldude
Girl #1: Dammit, they’re putting one of the wheelchair people on the bus!
Girl #2: Fuck, man…You know, they should just put a handle on the back of the bus.
Girl #1: Yeah, that could be fun for them!
–M12 bus
