Kid in stroller: I want rice!
Mom: You don’t want no rice.
Kid: I don’t want no rice.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: djingo
Kid in stroller: I want rice!
Mom: You don’t want no rice.
Kid: I don’t want no rice.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: djingo
Woman to friend: It just wasn’t what they imagined when they dreamed of going to jail.
–5th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: MK
LA bimbette to another: I think, like, everyone I know has been arrested. I mean, like, who hasn’t been charged with a drunk and disorderly at least once?
–R train
Chick to friend: Yeah, he got a lot of gold chains, but that’s an investment… That’s bail.
–Bus, Port Authority
Guy leaving subway: Hey, baby, I’m home! One more day and I’m not in jail!
–Subway entrance, 125th St
Overheard by: Leaving Harlem
Teen thug: Man, I never had to spend Valentine’s Day with my mom… If her boyfriend wasn’t in jail she wouldn’t be bothering me.
–Eastern Pkwy Library
Chick to boyfriend: So, that’s what you learned in prison?
–Central Park
Teen boy: Mom, is it true that some people are both a man and a woman?
Mom: Yes. Well, sort of. Can we talk about this when we get home?
Teen boy: So does that mean they have, like, both–
Mom: –Yes, honey, now be quiet for a little while, okay?
Teen boy: Does that mean they can, like, do the slinky?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Mike N
Teen chick #1: So, what? Are you sick of all us girls now?
Teen boy: Yeah.
Teen chick #2: Why, because you’ve hooked up with all of us?
Teen boy: Yeah.
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Manager to resigned employee: It’s okay. If I worked here I’d be looking for another job as well.
–Barnes & Noble, Park Slope
Guy pleading into cell: Give me a break! So I have sex with one fuckin’ coworker…
–Lafayette & Spring
Overheard by: Jeff in Soho
Late-40s guy: When you get to be my age it’s hard to make the big money, to become rich. Sure, I could get a job, but that’s not me.
–Bus, Port Authority
Overheard by: How long is this bus ride?
Suit: I mean, if I’m gonna fuck a fatty it’s going to be one I don’t have to see at work on Monday.
–6 train, Astor Place
Bike messenger: I could die at any time. That’s why my job is so great. I clock in for doom.
–37th & Broadway
Teacher: When did slavery end?
Student: Didn’t it end in like, 1970, when Martin Luther King freed all the blacks?
–Berkeley Carroll School, Park Slope
Teen boy #1: You want her to suck your dick?
Teen boy #2: She did, but I don’t want to make out with her.
–4th St & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: jayloo
Yuppie mother #1: And it’s gotten to the point where I don’t even want to talk to anyone who doesn’t own their own brownstone.
Yuppie mother #2: I know, I know.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Guy: Yeah, we call my brother’s girlfriend Swiss Miss.
Girl: Is that because she’s Brazilian?
–Purity Diner, 7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Cleo
Girl #1: I got kissed.
Girl #2: On your frickin’ gyne-box?
Girl #1: Yep!
Girl #3: You guys were in there long enough!
–Union St. and 5th Ave, Park Slope
