Pop Culture

Drunk guy: You’re not the boss of me…Bruce Springsteen is the boss of me.

–The Red Lion, Bleecker Street

Guy: Seriously. Puff’s attorney called me the other day to say Puff wants me to sign a confidentiality agreement. Puff doesn’t want me to disclose that he is the seller. I said to tell Puff that he’s the one who has to sign a confidentiality agreement. If the boys at Goldman find out who I am buying from, my credibility is going to be shot forever.

–Anotheroom, West Broadway

Overheard by: Big Lex

Paralegal lady on phone: And I thought to myself, “She looks so familiar, who is she?” Queen Latifah’s mother!…No, mangos.

–Office, 50th & 6th

Girl: Well, if he’s cranking the bass on a Dixie Chicks song at 2AM on a Monday at a bear bar to sell beer to lesbians he has much bigger problems than he knows.

–The Dugout, Christopher Street

Chick: If we see Robbie Williams tonight, I’m gonna die.

–30th & Park

Hipster guy: Yeah and what’s with Simon Cowell? That guy is like the Grinch Who Stole Everything Else.

–Abbey Bar, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Spyridon Panousopoulos

Guy: You know you have reached the lowest point of all human existence when there’s a telethon featuring only John Denver music.

–2nd between A & B

Overheard by: djlindee

Guy: God, I love going to Galapagos. You always run into all the right people there. You know, all the people that you haven’t seen since that last Yeah Yeah Yeahs show?

–L train

Overheard by: Shannon

Woman on cell: Remember that handsome lawyer who took me out to dinner the other night? Yeah, well, he gave me an STD. It reminded me of a song.

–14th & 6th

Professor guy: Billy Joel, wow. He’s got about 10 shows coming up. I bet the stage production budget is through the roof. I’d drive a car onto stage…and smash it into a tree.

–Fordham University, Rose Hill

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Woman: Brian Wilson beat me right the hell up right there; right the hell up!

–43rd between 8th & 9th

Overheard by: Ryan Duncan

Old woman: Oh, is Lil’ Kim in jail?

–7th & Bleecker

Overheard by: Sarah Doogs

Dude: I was listening to a DMX record the other day, and if that
guy’s telling the truth, he’s lived quite a life.

–Gee Whiz Restaurant, Greenwich Street

Overheard by: Matthew Alhonte

Asian guy: The time has come fo’ mad hip-hop.

–Go Sushi, St. Marks Place

Overheard by: Alyson Leigh

Crazy lady: Excuse me…Excuse me…Have you heard of a band called “The Diarrheas”? From Washington, DC! With Hillary and…Chuck! Like from Friday the 13th? Do you think they’ll be successful?

–11th between 52nd & 53rd

Third floor window guy: Hey fuck you, I don’t need you telling me that you are cooler than me, I saw the Ramones in ’83!…Fuck you, your not cooler than me, I saw Fugazi’s first show, I saw Minor Threat. What is your fucking claim to fame, seeing the White Stripes?

–Rivington & Stanton

Woman #1: My principal says you can get French lessons as an iPod.
Woman #2: An “iPod”?
Woman #1: Yeah…they’re about 15 minutes long, they come on your computer, and they’re free.
Woman #2: Hmm.
Woman #1: Wait, I mean a podcast.
Woman #2: “Podcast”? Sounds like it comes from aliens.

–Patisserie Claude, West 4th Street

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Mohawk teen: Not like a Barbie — it’s like a real short midget, but skinny and hairier.
Five-year-old girl: Like G.I. Joe?
Mohawk teen: G.I. Joe isn’t hairy, he’s just a man-Barbie with guns.

–18th St station

Overheard by: tom

Tweenie boy #1: Michael Jackson SUCKS!
Tweenie boy #2: Well, did you hear his music when he was black?
Tweenie boy #1: Michael Jackson was black?!

–Central Park

Overheard by: nas

Bus driver: I have a headache.
Female passenger: It’s the color television. It messes with your brain and gives you headaches. I watch it wearing sunglasses so it doesn’t affect me.

–BX 12 bus

Black guy: Yeah man! You could jump in the tracks right now!
White guy: Are you sure the subway Superman will appear?
Black guy: Trust me, I’m sure.

–W 4th St station

Overheard by: ron cabrera

Headline by: Earl

Runners-Up:

· “…like WMD sure… or Jesus sure?” – k swin

· “Able to convince morons in a single sentence” – Erin

· “Another Supporter of Urban Darwinism” – ToddS

· “He’ll show up in 15 minutes with a spatula and a bucket of bleach” – Rob

· “It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! Ah Fuck, It’s a Train.” – Justin

· “Kunta Kinte’s Revenge” – micah576

· “Malcom X’s Plan B” – Chris

· “That cold-death feeling just means he’s got you” – Leigh

· “Thinning the herd, Manhattan-style” – Tom Beckett


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Chick #1: I think Moron Titty is a great code name. Like, if you go into the CIA? I think you should be Agent Moron Titty.
Chick #2: Yeah, my nipples have an I.Q. of, like, 75.

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: djlindee

Chick #1: Who’s that actress who plays Blanche Devereaux?
Chick #2: Rue McClanahan!
Chick #1: Okay, you can say it. You’re not drunk enough yet.

–2nd & 2nd

Overheard by: Winnie Cooper

Skinny geek in Flash t-shirt: Dude, did you see Battlestar Galactica last night?
Fat geek in Green Lantern t-shirt: No, because I’m not a huge nerd. Hand me that Young Avengers issue, will ya?

–Midtown Comics, Times Square

Overheard by: jewish girl

Guy: Hey, isn’t that the painting from the Titanic?
Girlfriend: That is not even a possibility.
Guy: [looks confused] Well then, it’s one of them. And look! It was made in 1917!

–Metropolitan Museum of Art