Queer #1: Skinny is out. Fat is in.
Queer #2: Skinny is never out. Anorexic… is out.
–TJ Maxx, Chelsea
Overheard by: Ferris
Queer #1: Skinny is out. Fat is in.
Queer #2: Skinny is never out. Anorexic… is out.
–TJ Maxx, Chelsea
Overheard by: Ferris
Fag hag: Nuh-uh! She say yo’ mama old?
Young and fabulous latino: Shiiit. I was like, ‘Don’ even start with me, aiight? My mama had me whe she was 14! She was all like, ‘Uh… Uh…’ pushin’ me outta her pussy like I was hot!’
–6 train
Overheard by: Goofopet
The most flamingly queer man in history: I ain’t sittin’ down, I don’t wanna touch nothin’. This place is a cesspool.
Sexually ambiguous friend: Baby, you’ll take it bareback, bent over in a bar bathroom, but you won’t take a damn seat?
–C train
Chipper male hairstylist: Hi! Did you miss me?
Female hairstylist, intense: I thought about you every day…
Chipper male hairstylist: You know I’m gay, right?
–34th & Lex
Overheard by: Snidely
Queer waiter: Hey! I have a question for you! If Santa came to you on Christmas Eve and told you that you were on the naughty list, and the only way to get off the naughty list is to give him a blowjob, what would you do?
Ditzy waitress: Like, oh my god, I would so give Santa a blowjob.
Queer waiter: See, I love you! This is why we are friends.
–Olive Garden
Queer #1: So, what is this movie about?
Queer #2: Gael Garcia Bernal moves to Paris and starts having some weird dreams.
Queer #1: Of an erotic nature?
Queer #2: I certainly hope so.
–Angelika Film Center
Overheard by: queer_number_3
Hipster hootchie: I was in Miami a couple weeks ago and saw Lucy.
Queer: Oh yeah, how was that?
Hipster hootchie: It was good… Hung out on the beach… I didn’t know she had a wiener…
Queer: You didn’t know she had a wiener?!
Hipster hootchie: No, not until she started doing cartwheels.
–Bodega, Stanton & Ridge
Overheard by: Ryan
Queer #1: Why are only the uptown trains coming?
Queer #2: Maybe the uptown tunnels are really tight.
–W 4th station
Thug #1: Yeah, me too. I get so much pussy… Sometimes I’m too tired to even fuck ’em all.
Thug #2: Nigga, you gay.
–M4 bus stop, 110th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: High LiferforLife
Queer: And my boyfriend like, totally, oh my god, reached across the table… Like, across the table and strangled me. I seriously couldn’t breathe. Like, he strangled me. Here, put down your coffee, he did this [reaches across table and strangles ghetto black man]. Isn’t that crazy? Like, what the fuck would you do?
Ghetto black man: Poop.
–Starbucks, 16th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Erica
