Guy #1: I was faithful and honest as I could be under the circumstances.
Guy #2: But you fucked him four times!
–Jamba Juice, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: BondgBoi
Guy #1: I was faithful and honest as I could be under the circumstances.
Guy #2: But you fucked him four times!
–Jamba Juice, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: BondgBoi
Queer #1: Oh, I don’t know which one to try.
Queer #2: Why don’t you scoop them all up and put them in your purse?
Queer #1: I didn’t bring my purse today, Rose.
–Jacob Javits Center
Overheard by: Dawn
Queer #1: Ick. He’s like, your cousin or something.
Queer #2: First cousin. Second cousin. Once removed.
Queer #1: But not a cousin cousin.
Queer #2: Right.
Queer #1: That’s still grody.
Queer #2: I love that skirt on her.
–33rd & 8th
Woman: Do your gay thing and get us up ahead of this line full of teenage girls!
Queer: All right! “Girl…I need to get me a t-shirt! Move this Long Island trash outta my way!”
Teen girl: Please! Whateva Jersey!
Woman: Oh my god! She knew you were from Jersey!
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: J.Mo
Queer: What? Are you calling me a nerd? Do I look like I pay attention in class? I got a D+ so in your face, bitch! Oh, guess who I fucked last night?
Girl: Could you say that any louder? Who?
Queer: Myself.
–Hunter West Building, 68th & Lexington
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Queer #1: Oh, no, no, I don’t like that one, find a Puerto Rican one!
Queer #2: I think this is going to be my wallpaper.
Bartender guy: Are you guys downloading porn?
Queer #2: Oh my god, a new Cuckoo for Cocoa Cocks just came out!
–Red, Fulton Street
A woman at the next table is eating kielbasa with cole slaw.
Queer: Ew, that is so gross!
Woman: Do you want to know what’s gross? Sucking on someone’s cock that has just been in your ass.
–Veselka, 2nd Avenue
Queer #1: I can’t believe he wouldn’t go out with me.
Queer #2: Well, he didn’t think you could play the bongos. And he was right.
Queer #1: I know, but it’s not like I can’t learn.
Queer #2: Oh God, you’re giving me a boner.
–Greenwich & West 12th
Black woman: I’ll mess you up! I’ll be waiting for you downstairs, you man-on-man faggot! White trash!
White queer: You don’t scare me! I’ve dealt with the feds, I can
deal with you!
–Welfare office, Boerum Hill
Overheard by: Sheep Overhearder
Black woman: Take that bag off your back.
White man: All it takes are two words: “excuse” and “me”.
Black woman: I’m not saying nothing to you.
White man: Sorry, I see that you only use your mouth for one thing, and that’s sucking dick.
Black woman: You are so rude. Take that back.
White man: Okay, I am sorry. I take it back. You also use your mouth for eating, as seen by the size of your enormous ass.
–4/5 train
Guy: It’s really been my dream to start writing for Teen Vogue.
Chick: That is quite possibly the gayest sentence ever uttered.
–Random House cafeteria, 56th & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
