Queer: Oh, I’m so glad to see you! I’ve been thinking about you’ I just read that book Radically Gay.
–Tekserve, West 23rd Street
Queer: Oh, I’m so glad to see you! I’ve been thinking about you’ I just read that book Radically Gay.
–Tekserve, West 23rd Street
Queer: Hey, the red is looking really good on you. That’s gonna be the next color of my living room walls, like God had a nosebleed!
–Tekserve, West 23rd Street
Guy: I’m like your gay boyfriend.
Girl: Kind of.
Guy: …only without the gay sex part, of course.
Girl: Yes, and without the sense of style.
Guy: I don’t know if I’d say that…
Girl: See, you’re just very emotional. But you should really work on the style, ’cause it’s the best thing about the gay.
–Virgin, Union Square
Girl: Do you smell that? Smells like straight up pussy in this bitch.
Guy: I wouldn’t know.
Girl: What do you mean you wouldn’t know? It’s pussy.
Guy: I wouldn’t know. I’m gay.
Girl: Damn, son. So what does dick smell like?
Guy: Wouldn’t you know? I mean when you get on your knees?
–M14D bus
Overheard by: Janelle Someone
Queer on cell: So I saw this store that was going out of business…Yeah, so I got a faith and three hopes…Or was it two faiths and three hopes?…Ha, yeah, there wasn’t any love or anything. I bet I could sell a faith to Madonna for a hundred million dollars. Like, “Here you go, this is the most religious thing ever. More than you….bitch.”…Ha, ha, yeah. “It has holy waters from all over the world. The Pope came on it.”
–New School, West 13th Street
Overheard by: jimster
Guy #1: My iPod called me a homo this morning.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: I had it on shuffle and it played a nonstop string of Rent, Oklahoma, Barbara Streisand, Donna Summer and, best of all, Annie: The Musical.
Guy #2: Wow, you said, “Best of all, Annie.” That’s amazingly gay.
–34th between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: cityhick
Queer #1: I don’t think I’m as self-destructive as everybody actually thinks I am.
Queer #2: Perpetually relying on substances tells me you can’t handle things on your own.
Queer #1: I wouldn’t say I rely on them. They’re more like an accessory, like a handbag or a purse.
–82nd & 2nd
Overheard by: McCarton Ackerman
Guy #1: I was faithful and honest as I could be under the circumstances.
Guy #2: But you fucked him four times!
–Jamba Juice, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: BondgBoi
Queer #1: Oh, I don’t know which one to try.
Queer #2: Why don’t you scoop them all up and put them in your purse?
Queer #1: I didn’t bring my purse today, Rose.
–Jacob Javits Center
Overheard by: Dawn
Queer #1: Ick. He’s like, your cousin or something.
Queer #2: First cousin. Second cousin. Once removed.
Queer #1: But not a cousin cousin.
Queer #2: Right.
Queer #1: That’s still grody.
Queer #2: I love that skirt on her.
–33rd & 8th
