Bartender: I have absolutely no desire to go to work and make ginger cosmos for a bunch of proud gays.
–Montague & Henry
Foreign guy: He’s not gay. He’s almost gay. He spends most of his time with a lot of gay actors. But he’s not really gay.
–Stairs of the Met
Overheard by: wankerbob
Girl: Do you want to go get some coffee?
Queer: No way! I don’t want to feel like a fat whore.
–H&M, Herald Square
Unitarian teen: Yeah, we’re here for a poverty conference.
Flamboyant MAC salesman: Wow! You guys are so cool! Are there any boys there?
Unitarian teen: Well, really just Keegan.
Flamboyant MAC salesman: Oh my god! Are you a boy? Oh my god, I’m so tripped out! I thought you were some hippy dippy chick or something!
–MAC, Soho
Overheard by: girl in MAC
Hot queer in suit: I swear if one more thing goes wrong, I’m just going to pull my skirt over my head and scream!
–Broadway & 51st
Guy: It’s almost enough to make me try women.
–8th between 39th & 40th
Chick: There are two types of men in this world. The type that would sleep with Paul Newman and the type that would sleep with Robert Redford, and they can’t be both. What are you?
Gay guy: Paul Newman
Chick: And you?
Asexual guy: Um…Paul Newman.
Silence.
Chick: Aren’t you going to ask me?
Gay guy: No, I don’t care.
Asexual guy: Me neither.
–F train, 2nd Ave
Drunk girl: I wish you were straight.
Gay guy holding her up: Honey, I knew I was gay when I was born during General Hospital.
–53rd & 9th
Overheard by: Ciara DiSeta
Queer: Oh, I’m so glad to see you! I’ve been thinking about you’ I just read that book Radically Gay.
–Tekserve, West 23rd Street
Queer: Hey, the red is looking really good on you. That’s gonna be the next color of my living room walls, like God had a nosebleed!
–Tekserve, West 23rd Street
Guy: I’m like your gay boyfriend.
Girl: Kind of.
Guy: …only without the gay sex part, of course.
Girl: Yes, and without the sense of style.
Guy: I don’t know if I’d say that…
Girl: See, you’re just very emotional. But you should really work on the style, ’cause it’s the best thing about the gay.
–Virgin, Union Square
Girl: Do you smell that? Smells like straight up pussy in this bitch.
Guy: I wouldn’t know.
Girl: What do you mean you wouldn’t know? It’s pussy.
Guy: I wouldn’t know. I’m gay.
Girl: Damn, son. So what does dick smell like?
Guy: Wouldn’t you know? I mean when you get on your knees?
–M14D bus
Overheard by: Janelle Someone
