Chick: If I could sleep with any of the hobbits, it would have to be Frodo.
Guy: What?! Frodo is a total fudge packer.
Chick: Please don’t call him that!
Queer: Especially in front of a fudge packer!
–Barnes & Noble, 54th & 3rd
Overheard by: Willowee
Boyfriend: Oooh, you look pretty in that dress.
Girlfriend: You’re revolting. Don’t touch me.
Queer buddy: Jeremy, this is your stop. Penn Station. Get out.
Boyfriend: No it isn’t. This is 96th Street.
Girlfriend: Do you have any idea how much I hate you? Stop touching me.
–Downtown A train
Overheard by: Shane
Queer: Great shoes!
Woman: Thanks! They’re Star Jones.
Queer: And they’re as black as her soul.
–party, 171st & Broadway
Queer #1: It’s not queer pride. It’s Brooklyn pride!
Queer #2: Uh, sweetie, it’s pretty queer, too.
–Brooklyn Pride Parade
Overheard by: fureigh
Old-lady candy-pusher: I be sellin’ candy for the school. I have M&Ms and Jujyfruits and Almond Joy with and without the nuts.
Drunken gay guy: Nobody wants your candy. It probably has razor blades in it and shit. Just go away.
Old-lady candy-pusher: Look at you talkin’. You are the anti man!
–downtown 2 train
Overheard by: Stefanie
Ghetto guy: Yo, can I getcha number?
Girl: Umm, no, this is my boyfriend.
Girl leans in to kiss gay friend.
Ghetto guy: Oh, ok, sorry. I didn’t know.
Gay friend: Girl, if I wasn’t gay before, I sure as hell am now!
–1 train
Queer #1: Let’s hit the discount button bins on 39th.
Queer #2: Excuse me? That boy fucked you up bad.
Queer #1: What? I love buttons.
Queer #2: You still have some of that joint?
–10th & 6th
Overheard by: isaac
Bartender: I have absolutely no desire to go to work and make ginger cosmos for a bunch of proud gays.
–Montague & Henry
Foreign guy: He’s not gay. He’s almost gay. He spends most of his time with a lot of gay actors. But he’s not really gay.
–Stairs of the Met
Overheard by: wankerbob
Girl: Do you want to go get some coffee?
Queer: No way! I don’t want to feel like a fat whore.
–H&M, Herald Square
Unitarian teen: Yeah, we’re here for a poverty conference.
Flamboyant MAC salesman: Wow! You guys are so cool! Are there any boys there?
Unitarian teen: Well, really just Keegan.
Flamboyant MAC salesman: Oh my god! Are you a boy? Oh my god, I’m so tripped out! I thought you were some hippy dippy chick or something!
–MAC, Soho
Overheard by: girl in MAC
