Mom: So why didn’t you come to dinner?
Dad: I don’t like you.
–44th & 9th
Overheard by: puppy
Mom: So why didn’t you come to dinner?
Dad: I don’t like you.
–44th & 9th
Overheard by: puppy
Chick: Do you know why I can’t walk on this side of you on the sidewalk?
Guy: Why?
Chick: You’re gonna laugh…
Guy: I’ll laugh no matter what.
Chick: ‘Cause this is not my side of the bed.
Guy: What?
Chick: If we were laying on my bed I wouldn’t be on my side.
Guy: What? Yes you would. If we’re laying on our backs this would be your side of the bed.
Chick: But I sleep on my stomach…
Guy: We’re walking in the street, there is no bed!
–42nd & 5th
Overheard by: King Porky21
Guy #1: I can’t believe I kissed both of them.
Guy #2: I kissed both of them too.
Guy #1: …That means I, like, kissed you…
Guy #2: …I don’t even want to talk about this.
–L train
Overheard by: Stephanie A.
Girl #1: So then he kissed me, and it was really awkward, because I don’t want to get involved with that train wreck.
Girl #2: So what did you do?
Girl #1: Told him that I really liked him, but I was seeing someone else exclusively.
Girl #2: You are? And you do?
Girl #1: No, but being in awkward social situations makes me a compulsive liar.
Girl #2: Isn’t that also your excuse for drinking too much?
Girl #1: That’s really not fair to say.
Girl #2: So what did you do after that?
Girl #1: We did some vodka shots, and then I passed out on the subway and ended up in Brooklyn.
Girl #2: Good job.
–1 train
Overheard by: Ammie Rabelais
Woman: Last month I thought I was in love with you. Now I realize I’m stupid.
Man: Stupid in love?
Woman: No. Just stupid.
–Union Square
Girl: We had this huge fight. It was awful. All the screaming and stuff and public.
Guy: Really? In the street and stuff?
Girl: Yeah. It’s so embarassing.
Guy: Wow. You’ll probably end up on that Overheard site.
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Waiting in Line
Guy #1: I shouldn’t even pay rent in my house, I’m out so much. I should be homeless; I’m barely ever there.
Guy #2: You could live at the ASPCA!
Guy #1: Yeah, the ASPCA. It’s a good place to live. My ex-girlfriends live there.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Staten Island
Overheard by: Barnaby McSwooptang
Hipster guy: I need a woman to love me so I can alienate her. The love part, that’s where it gets difficult.
Girl #1: Oh, come on. It’s so easy to find a needy bitch.
Girl #2: Have you tried AA?
–Astoria
Man #1: Honey, we don’t have to see Memoirs of a Geisha. You lived it, didn’t you?
Woman: You just know the right things to say!
Man #2: Some people make me wish that snow outside was really acid.
–Loews 42nd Street
Woman: It’s going to be a 20 minute wait.
Man: Why don’t you go use the restrooms now?
Woman: It’s okay, I can wait 20 minutes.
Man: If you shit your pants in public again, I’m going to fucking kill
you.
–Veselka, 2nd Avenue
