Mom: Do you know that she got into Brooklyn University? They must let everyone in there.
Dad: Brooklyn University?
Mom: Um, or maybe Long Island University? Or maybe Brooklyn University in Long Island?
–Shun Lee Cafe, West 65th Street
Mom: Do you know that she got into Brooklyn University? They must let everyone in there.
Dad: Brooklyn University?
Mom: Um, or maybe Long Island University? Or maybe Brooklyn University in Long Island?
–Shun Lee Cafe, West 65th Street
Yuppie guy: I want to have three kids. First a boy, then two girls.
Girl: What if it doesn’t happen in that order?
Yuppie guy: There are ways to make it happen.
Girl: Oh, like, different positions?
–48th & 7th
Guy #1: Hall of psychics!
Guy #2: That says “physics”.
–Broadway & Washington Place
Overheard by: mara
Chick #1: So I took out the butter, you know, in the butter dish.
Chick #2: And…
Chick #1: It had been an avocado, like a year ago.
Chick #2: Ew!
Chick #1: So I just skipped breakfast.
Chick #2: What did you do with it?
Chick #1: What do you mean, what did I do with it?
Chick #2: Like, did you throw the whole butter dish away or what?
Chick #1: I just put it back in the fridge.
Chick #2: Right.
–Starbucks, Brooklyn Heights
Hobo: Spare some change for the leprechaun? I just need four dollars to get back over the rainbow.
–1 train
Girl #1: Isn’t this the bar we’re going to?
Girl #2: No, that place is called Barbacasue. We’re going to Valley something.
Girl #1: Where does it say that?
Girl #2: Right up there, on that sign.
Girl #1: That says “barbecue”, you asshole!
–27th & 5th
Overheard by: Krissimarie
Girl #1: When I got on the bus today, there was a needle on the seat next to me and I didn’t know what to do with it!
Girl #2: Yeah, there could have been syphilis on it or something…
Girl #1: Yeah, I was thinking more like AIDS, but sure.
–56th & 8th
Girl #1: You should date the Jew; he would take you out to dinner and then they bone you.
Girl #2: Oh, as opposed to the Catholic ones that we just bone and skip dinner altogether?
–3rd Avenue & 10th Street
Guy: Why do they put peas in the fried rice? Peas and carrots? I don’t want that in my fried rice.
Girl: Because it’s vegetable fried rice.
Guy: That’s what the egg is for.
Girl: Egg is not a vegetable. Wait…What is it? Dairy? It should be meat, because if you let it go it will be meat.
Guy: I think it’s produce.
–LaGuardia
Chick: So do you wear briefs or boxers?
Dude: You mean panties?
Chick: No, you know, briefs.
Dude: Boxers. I wear boxers. Adult males don’t wear panties. Panties are for girls.
Chick: Why you call ’em panties?
Dude: That’s what we call ’em in jail.
–Hudson & Charleton
