Hobo: Spare some change for the leprechaun? I just need four dollars to get back over the rainbow.
–1 train
Hobo: Spare some change for the leprechaun? I just need four dollars to get back over the rainbow.
–1 train
Girl #1: Isn’t this the bar we’re going to?
Girl #2: No, that place is called Barbacasue. We’re going to Valley something.
Girl #1: Where does it say that?
Girl #2: Right up there, on that sign.
Girl #1: That says “barbecue”, you asshole!
–27th & 5th
Overheard by: Krissimarie
Girl #1: When I got on the bus today, there was a needle on the seat next to me and I didn’t know what to do with it!
Girl #2: Yeah, there could have been syphilis on it or something…
Girl #1: Yeah, I was thinking more like AIDS, but sure.
–56th & 8th
Girl #1: You should date the Jew; he would take you out to dinner and then they bone you.
Girl #2: Oh, as opposed to the Catholic ones that we just bone and skip dinner altogether?
–3rd Avenue & 10th Street
Guy: Why do they put peas in the fried rice? Peas and carrots? I don’t want that in my fried rice.
Girl: Because it’s vegetable fried rice.
Guy: That’s what the egg is for.
Girl: Egg is not a vegetable. Wait…What is it? Dairy? It should be meat, because if you let it go it will be meat.
Guy: I think it’s produce.
–LaGuardia
Chick: So do you wear briefs or boxers?
Dude: You mean panties?
Chick: No, you know, briefs.
Dude: Boxers. I wear boxers. Adult males don’t wear panties. Panties are for girls.
Chick: Why you call ’em panties?
Dude: That’s what we call ’em in jail.
–Hudson & Charleton
Dude #1: Yo, what’s up?
Dude #2: I know what’s going up.
Dude #1: The price of stamps?
Dude #2: This elevator don’t go down till the passengers get off. A samurai won’t sheath their sword without the taste of blood…Fool, my penis! Damn, you just broke the elevator. Way to go, homo.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Gary Wattson
Dude #1: We were discussing the Holocaust in my class, and there was this really hot guy in it, and all I could think about was fucking him.
Dude #2: Fucking a guy in the Holocaust? Ew.
–1st Avenue & 12th Street
Suit on cell: It’s sex: somebody’s always taking advantage of someone else…Oh shit, this girl just gave me a look. That’s gonna be on Overheard tomorrow, I just know it.
–45th & Lexington
Overheard by: No, not her
Hobo: Yeah man, that’s good shit. Except for those white-ass American bandstand drummers. Whoever heard of fucking Clark Kent playing bongos?
–55th & 9th
Overheard by: Luke Reynolds
