Hobo: Excuse me, is this the Six Train?
Young guy: Yes.
Hobo: Thank you [urinates on rail].
–6 train platform, Astor Pl
Hobo: Excuse me, is this the Six Train?
Young guy: Yes.
Hobo: Thank you [urinates on rail].
–6 train platform, Astor Pl
Dude #1: Phew, it’s warm down here.
Dude #2: Yeah, we should blow on each other.
–Crowded platform, 59th St
Overheard by: Lillian
Little girl: Once upon a time, there were three little pigs, and their names were Elana, Jessica, and… And Daddy Midget.
Uncle: That best not be me.
Man: You the daddy?
Uncle: Naw, I’m the uncle. But I’m the only daddy around.
Little girl: … And they lived together…
Uncle: I know, I’m probably the wolf.
Little girl: And there was a big bad wolf, and his name was Uncle Greg*.
Uncle: That’s right, I’d best be the wolf.
Little girl: And they lived happily ever after.
–Subway station, 53rd & Lex
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Father, pointing at License to Wed poster: The man in the middle ([Robin Williams] is funny.
Son, looking at John Krasinski: Why is that man sad?
Father: ‘Cause he’s getting married.
–6 train platform, 86th St
Overheard by: Toddy
Suit #1: She’s smart, funny, beautiful… What more could you ask for?
Suit #2: Yeah, but she probably votes. I don’t like women that vote.
–Union Station
Overheard by: Jacksonian Democracy
Fat girl: … And then I, like, tasted my cum and it tasted like bleach.
Skinny friend: Hey, your nose ring is out.
Fat girl: Like fuckin’ bleach, man.
–Elevator, between A train & 1 train, 168th St station
Teen girl #1: I broke up with him because of his smegma. It was out of control.
Teen girl #2: What the fuck?
Teen girl #1: He had severe dick cheese.
Teen girl #2, loudly: Wait — so he had cheese growing on his dick?! Ewww!
Man next to them, laughing: Where are the crackers when you need ’em, eh?
–Roosevelt Ave station
Gym rat #1: Yeah, I go to a great gym… And it’s not a fashion show like other places — people are there to work out.
Gym rat #2: Yeah?
Gym rat #1: Yeah. And the girls there? Oh, man, they are so hot. That is the best thing about it.
–6 train platform, Union Square
Overheard by: rory solomon
Fat lady #1: I don’t know… I ain’t into all that freaky shit.
Fat lady #2: You just need to tell him you can’t be his nasty bitch no more.
Fat lady #1: I know that’s right, girl.
–6 train platform
Overheard by: Peter
Little sis: I don’t know. I’m just really confused. Like, how am I supposed to know what I want in a guy? You know? Like, what’s your perfect guy?
Big sis: One with 6 weeks to live.
Little sis: Huh?
Big sis: Nevermind… God, that would be great, though.
–1 train platform, 23rd St
