Hobo: …but don’t worry; us Republicans know what you’re up to!
–Sullivan & W. 3rd
Woman on cell: Uh huh…yeah…right…uh huh…uh huh…the one you thought was underwear…uh huh…right…
–Lincoln Center
Girl on cell: I am so not dressed for a strip club!
–Times Square
Queer: My sister is so concerned about her son playing with dolls because it will turn him gay. I’m like, “It’s not because I was playing with dolls that I was gay, it was that I looked at a guy and got a hardon!”.
–Japonica, University Place
Overheard by: Rick T
Pregnant woman: They really need to make cigarettes illegal. I can smell that woman’s smoke from half a block away. Anything you can smell from half a block away has got to be outlawed. I mean, I’ve never smelled a fart from half a block away!
–Houston & Thompson
Ballet boy: Is this the Piano Concerto choreographed by Balanchine?
Ballet girl: No.
Ballet boy: Then who is it?
Ballet girl: I don’t know. It’s like…ghetto.
–NYU Skirball Center
Woman #1: So it was great to see you again!
Woman #2: I know, you too!
Woman #1: Now I forgot, where are you going on vacation again?
Woman #2: Oh, just up to Vermont. We’re going to see a psychiatrist.
–Broadway and Waverly
Fashionista #1: Did you do your laundry yet?
Fashionista #2: Yeah, I used a service called the Laundry Spa, it’s like they gave a facial to my cashmere sweater.
Fashionista #1: Wow, I have a pair of jeans that could really use a facial.
–Bleecker off 11th street
Overheard by: L Cohen
Man on phone: Listen, I know I’m like the 500th person to tell you this, but you’ve got a problem…No, I’m not saying you’re an alcoholic! You just drink too much!
–NYSC, 7th Ave & 10th St
Lady: Here.
Pizza Guy: It’s $2.25.
Lady: I thought it was $1.50.
Pizza Guy: No, $2.25.
Lady: Oh wow, you guys raised your prices. I’ve been out of town for a while.
Pizza Guy: No, we didn’t. It’s $2.25. I don’t know where you can get $1.50 pizza…not even Brooklyn.
–Joe’s Pizza, West Village
Overheard by: Rachel W
Strand cashier: It’s like that when I go downstairs. I get all creeped out. It’s like, “Wait a minute! Why do I feel like the new guy? I’ve been here a year and a half!”
–The Strand
Dumbass: So, what do you do?
Woman: I’m working on getting my PhD in pre-Columbian studies.
Dumbass: Oh… What does that mean?
Woman: Yeah, I usually get that reaction from people outside the realm of academia.
Dumbass: Academia? Where’s that?
–Bar, the Village
Overheard by: Wishing I was in Academia
