Preggers: I’ve had the worst shooting pain in my stomach since last week.
Husband: Maybe we should go to the ER right now.
Preggers: No way. I’ll go after the movie.
–Loews
Overheard by: Mariam
Preggers: I’ve had the worst shooting pain in my stomach since last week.
Husband: Maybe we should go to the ER right now.
Preggers: No way. I’ll go after the movie.
–Loews
Overheard by: Mariam
Big black lady exiting movie: Yo, that shit was dumb.
Big black friend: Dumb shit.
Big black lady: For a second I thought it wasn’t going to be dumb… But then it was.
Big black friend: Dumb, dumb, dumb shit.
Big black lady: Dumb!
Big black friend: Man, was that dumb.
Big black lady: Dumb.
–Loews, 34th St
Fag hag: So, how’s your hot cousin?
Queer: He’s dating this girl now… She’s cute, tall… Looks like Katie Holmes — has the same look on her face.
Fag hag: What look is that?
Queer: You know — sad.
–Nederlander Theatre
Overheard by: Crazy Legs Freddy
Frat boy #1, reading his playbill: Oh, dude, Beauty and the Beast is closing.
Frat boy #2: Oh, yeah?
Frat boy #1: Yeah, man. I caught the magic.
–Shubert Theatre
Overheard by: Sarah
Black actress onstage: If anymore white people walk in here, we’re gonna become a suburb!
Suburban white girl in audience: I don’t get it.
–Showing of Hairspray
Dude #1: If I had money I’d eat there everyday.
Dude #2: If you had money I’d kill you and wear you like a pelt.
–Outside Walter Kerr Theater
Girl #1: Don’t you think it’s crazy how the Bible was written in English?
Girl #2: I’m pretty sure it was written in Latin first…
Girl #1: I’m an idiot.
—Da Vinci Code showing, AMC Empire 25 theater
Overheard by: Jenn
Theater fan: What would you say about a person who saw The Rocky Horror Picture Show only once and didn’t feel any need to see it again?
Tim Curry: I’d say that was a person who was in full possession of their senses.
–Actor’s Fund event, 52nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Big Larry
Suit #1: Man, I’m so old. I have two white hairs now.
Suit #2: Aw, man.
Suit #1: I know. I mean, before I had only one white hair, but two — that totally changes everything.
–Golden Theater
Overheard by: Miranda
Asian guy #1: Fucking motherfucker!
Asian guy #2: Ass-fucking mule!
Asian guy #1: Cum wad!
Asian guy #2: Asian!
Asian guy #1: Whoa, man, that’s just rude.
–Radio City Music Hall
Overheard by: Laura
