Dude #1: Sure, it’s all summery now, but you know in six months it’s all gonna be snowin’ again and shit.
Dude #2: Fuck that.
–PATH train
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Dude #1: Sure, it’s all summery now, but you know in six months it’s all gonna be snowin’ again and shit.
Dude #2: Fuck that.
–PATH train
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Old lady: Take your coat off — it’s a hundred degrees in here!
Old man: Stop talking to me!
–Architectural Digest event, W 59th & 12th
Dude #1: Dude, I can’t believe it’s going to be like fucking minus eight tomorrow!
Dude #2: Shit. Isn’t freezing, like, 32?
Dude #1: Damn. That means it’s actually going to be like minus 40, right?
Dude #2: Yeah.
–Columbia University
Tween girl #1, trudging through snow: What’s with this weather? It’s so annoying.
Tween girl #2: Yeah. Weren’t we having global warming? Let’s stop recycling or something.
–110th & Broadway
Suit: I was up in Toronto last week. It was nice, but it was really cold.
Guy: Yeah, it’s beautiful up there, but they get winter really early. It’s like that Shakespeare line, ‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.’
Suit: [Befuddled silence.]
–LIRR into Penn Station
Overheard by: It was Dickens, DickWad
Russian guy, about the cold: Ah, such beautiful weather, I love it!
Daughter: Mmm-hmmm, whatever.
Russian guy: If I was a negro, I wouldn’t like this weather, either.
–Orloff Ave, Bronx
English exchange student: I like New York, but it has just been so cold!
Local student: This is nothing. Where I’m from in Minnesota it’s been 15 below.
English exchange student: Wow! You must not have much of a homeless problem there — they all just die!
–Downtown M4 bus
Frat boy #1: It’s so f-in’ cold in here.
Frat boy #2: Yeah, where’s the global warming when you need it?
–Subway restaurant near Wall St
Headline by: Dave Faith
Runners-Up:
· “Dubya’s College Years Were Ripe With Wit” – Katie
· “It’s Busy Killing Your Grandchildren” – bowloftoast
· “It’s Busy Melting the Pounds Off Jared” – David Bowers
· “It’s Truly Inconvenient” – Nicolbee
· “Just wait a few years and it’ll be wireless” – karl
Guy: No shit. You’re a psychic? Uh… make a prediction or something.
Psychic: It’s going to rain tomorrow.
Guy: Wow. So you’re the real deal, huh? Weather straight from the source.
Psychic: Well, that, and I check weather dot com.
–R train
