All Wednesday One-Liners

Suit on cell: Yo Chucky, what’re you doing for the holiday?…You’re
frying it?…Like, deep frying? Yes, that’s weird…I think it’ll taste funny…I hope you remember to pluck all the feathers.

–Madison Square Park

Chick: Who knew losing your virginity was so traumatizing? I thought it was a one time thing and then it’s over.

–13th & 5th

Overheard by: Evil Eye

Old lady: I’m telling you: she’s allergic to snow!

–28th & Park

Overheard by: Eliot Glazer

Hobo: Man invented the condom so that the woman would stop trying to steal his DNA.

–F train

Overheard by: Caroline Duncan

Tween boy: They all kind of look like hipsters.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: ben wg

Teen girl: I wouldn’t call me bi but more curious. Nut when I was fooling around with her I thought to myself, “I’d definitely do this again.”

–1 train

Overheard by: Mike Smith

Girl on cell: What, did she say she thought I was going to hit her or something?…There was a customer there!

–Broadway & 70th

Overheard by: Vanessa Robinson

Girl on cell: I’m settling for you only because you are tolerating me.

–Penn Station

Waiter: There is no indefinite standing allowed in the garden.

–Luca Lounge, Avenue B

Overheard by: Anna

Girl: The smell was so bad, it’s like it wasn’t even a smell!

–92nd Street Y

Overheard by: Tony Daussat

Woman: It might smell in here, and if it smells we are leaving.

–7th & A

Overheard by: Danielle

Girl #1: Ew! It smells like period!
Girl #2: That’s so gross! Stop saying that!

–Bowery & 3rd

Bicyclist guy #1: Oh god, yo dude let’s get the fuck out of here. It stanks, New York City smells.
Bicyclist guy #2: Yo man, I told you America stinks. You should move to Jamaica.

–58th & 8th