JAP #1: So then he like…stuck his stick up her hoo-ha!
JAP #2: Like in her area? You mean he went for the cash and prizes?
JAP #1: Yeah! So he like… hit her there with his stick, and she spun around and was like, “What the fuck?”, but then was like, “Oh, you’re blind.” But I don’t care. It’s fucked up.
–University & Waverly
Overheard by: tj
Lady #1: Hey, do you remember how that conversation with Jim started today?
Lady #2: Um, honestly, no.
Lady #1: Well, fuck you then! Ginka balinka, Alzheimer’s bitch!
–Office, Greenwich & Beach
Tourist lady #1: Excuse me, can you tell us how to get to the corner of Madison and Park?
Man: No such place. See, those streets run–
Tourist lady #2: Oh, he doesn’t know. We just came from there, so let’s just go back the way we came.
–34th & Park
Overheard by: Manhattman
Girl #1: …and I will totally sell you my old shuffle, cheap.
Girl #2: I don’t know…
Guy: Fuck that, iTunes sucks! All iProducts suck!
Girl #2: Shh! You might offend the girl with the iPod.
Guy: Fuck her! She can’t hear us with those ear things in!
–F train
Overheard by: Girl with the iPod
Hobo: You remember me?
Bag lady: Yeah, I remember you; I still don’t like you.
Hobo: I still don’t like you either. You still gotta wash your ass. Stop smokin’ crack and wash your asshole!
–1 train
Overheard by: Nico Medina
Hobo: Spare some change for the leprechaun? I just need four dollars to get back over the rainbow.
–1 train
Guy #1: So I was standin’ in front of the door in the train the other day, and this old lady shoves me like three times when the doors opened. I stepped aside to look at her and I pushed her like this.
Guy #2: What did she do?
Guy #1: She just looked and me and walked out. Fucking bitch!
–N train
Woman #1: They done got my paycheck wrong again. I’m so upset.
Woman #2: How’d they do that this time?
Woman #1: I don’t know, with computers these days, you type in one thing wrong and it ain’t gonna come out right.
Woman #2: Y’know, it’s those young girls in the office that don’t pay no attention to what they’re doin’.
Woman #1: You’re right! They have their fake press-on nails and damn fake hair. And they spend all day running their fake nails through their fake hair instead of watching the keyboard.
Woman #2: Oh, you’re just jealous.
–2 train
Dude #1: Yo, what’s up?
Dude #2: I know what’s going up.
Dude #1: The price of stamps?
Dude #2: This elevator don’t go down till the passengers get off. A samurai won’t sheath their sword without the taste of blood…Fool, my penis! Damn, you just broke the elevator. Way to go, homo.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Gary Wattson
Girl #1: Whatever, you never even let me put my feet on the furniture when I stay with you.
Girl #2: That is because your feet were covered with warts!
Girl #1: Warts that I caught from the Mother Wart that was on your foot!
–Central Park
