Haircutter: So she wanted me to put wax in her hair. And I told her I didn’t have any, that it’s $19 a bottle and if I get some for everyone I’ll go through it in no time. So she says that I should buy it for my customers. If she likes it so much, she should go buy it herself. I mean, it’s one thing if the cunt were a good tipper.
–Astor Place [Translated from the Russian]
Yuppie #1: I only went to Brazil for a month, but on my third day there I met her.
Yuppie #2: Women in South America are so hot. Especially Brazil and Spain.
–Belgian Beer Bar, Greenwich Village
Guy: You are a compelling argument against homosexuality. You are a very pretty girl.
–72nd St Station
Lady #1: I hate it when people put nail polish on their babies.
Lady #2: Really? I think it looks cute.
–6 train
Woman #1: I’m ready for ugly, if it keeps me warm in bed.
Woman #2: I don’t know about that.
–UES
Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Businesswoman on cell: If you told me she was 75 or 76, I’d say she looks fabulous. If you told me she was 73, I’d say she isn’t aging well at all.
–M101 bus
Teenager #1: Aw, that guy was so cute! He'd better be there when I go return my skates.
Teenager #2: You should find out his number or something.
Teenager #1: Nah, that's too awkward.
Teenager #2: Just ask his name from one of the other workers, and say you wanna report him to the manager… But then really just stalk him on Facebook!
–Ice Skating Rink, Bryant Park
Overheard by: lol
Teen #1: I was just talking to a girl in the bathroom… She was wearing a horrible shirt.
Teen #2: What did you say to her?
Teen #1: I said her shirt was nice.
–W 32nd St
Overheard by: NG
Pretty teen girl #1: Did you know there's a guy in our school who looks exactly like Taylor Lautner?
Pretty teen girl #2: Seriously?
Pretty teen girl #1: Yeah. His name is Alison.
Pretty teen girl #2: Ew. That's such an ugly name!
Pretty teen girl #1: I know. He like, stares… If you turn around and look at him, he's looking at you. All the girls think he's staring at them. You know how all the girls in that group are pretty?
Pretty teen girl #2: I know! It's crazy!
–Starbucks, Chelsea
Overheard by: Katherine Wallace
Woman to friend: You see how ugly she is?
Friend: Yes.
Woman: Ugly people are always nasty people!
–Grenwich & Morris
Overheard by: Gunther
