Ben Stein's “Clear Eyes” Commercials Get Creepier Every Year

Deli man: You have beautiful eyes.
Woman: Thank you.
Deli man: You better take care of them.

–63rd & 1st

Posted on June 25, 2021
Beauty, Body Parts, Clerks, Compliments, Upper East Side, Women

Why We Avoid Staten Island: Encapsulated.

Maternal woman to 14-year-old girl: My, aren't you looking sexy!
Random creepy guy: She ain't wrong!

–Bayview Place, Staten Island

Overheard by: now I want a mental shower

Posted on June 12, 2021
Beauty, Compliments, Creepsters, Moms, Parents, Physical appearance, Robbing the Cradle, Staten Island, Teens

He Did Look Kind of Sexy, Laying There

Suit #1: There was some great tail at that funeral.
Suit #2: Oh yeah!

–28th & 5th

Overheard by: brp

Posted on June 8, 2021
Beauty, Death, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Suits

A Venti One

Customer: Hey, you lost a lot of weight.
Barista: No, I gave birth two weeks ago.
Customer: To a baby?

–Starbucks

Overheard by: mjw51

Posted on May 11, 2021
Babies, Baristas, Beauty, Diet/Weight, Starbucks

All We Can Do Is Take Revenge on Their Ugly Stepsisters

Man #1, sounding exasperated: Some women are so beautiful that I can't–I just can't even look at them.
Man #2: I know. Beauty hurts.

–14th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Evan

Posted on May 2, 2021
Anger Management, Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Men, Physical appearance, Union Square and East Village

The Kind Of Thing We've Come to Expect from Blondie.

Blonde in convertible: Hey, cutie!
Suit: (turns around briefly, keeps walking)
Blonde: Hey! With the nice ass, we were talking to you!
Suit, walking back to convertible: Yes?
Blonde: My friend here thinks you're cute and wants your number.
Suit: Uh… I'm flattered, but I have a fiancee, so I'll pass.
Brunette driver: I didn't ask if you were single, I said you had a nice ass and I want your number.
Suit: Again, thanks, but no.
Brunette: How about I give you mine?
Blonde: You know, for when the marriage doesn't work out.
Suit: Yeah, no. But you girls have a great day.

–3rd Ave & 46th St

Posted on April 26, 2021
Ass, Beauty, Cars and Driving, Compliments, Girls, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Pick-up Lines, Suits, Wishes & desires

Or If We Were an Alien Race That Mated Through Our Hands

Short, fat, toothless-sounding woman: What we do is not disgraceful. There's nothing disgraceful about you.
Tall thin man, with boom box in hand: No.
Short, fat, toothless-sounding woman: There's nothing disgraceful about me.
Tall thin man: No.
Short, fat, toothless-sounding woman: It's the sin that's disgraceful. Us, holding hands, how we show our love, that's fine. It would be a whole different story if I wasn't married, but I am.

–Essex & Delancey

Overheard by: nb