Beauty

Jiu-Jitsu guy #1, rolling around and trying to choke the other: Oh, your hair's soft today.
Jiu-Jitsu guy #2: Thanks, I used herbal essence this morning.

Indiana University

Overheard by: Rachel S.

Male teacher talking about student: Yeah, that ear infection made her go deaf. She wears one of those things in her head. The implant.
Meanest lady ever: Her life is over. You can't be deaf and ugly. That is too many things.
Male teacher: She's five!
Meanest lady ever: By six she'll barely be a person.

Fairfield, Connecticut

Queer en route to Obama rally: Oh my god, he’s so cute. Do you think he’ll sign my ass for me?

Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Rachel Jane

Girl: I am going to show you guys my toe, and you’re gonna be sorry!

Cresson, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: ZB

Woman, exiting coffee shop: He's like ten years old, but he's aged really well…

Berkeley, California

Overheard by: Minivet

Flight attendant (on PA): Chances are they're all middle seats. Find the one with the most attractive people, and take it.

Southwest Flight over California

Overheard by: Armen

Size 4 girl #1: I love H&M but it makes me feel so fat. I have to wear a size 6 or 8 when I shop here.
Size 4 girl #2: Yeah, and that vest makes you look like a lesbian.

H&M
Chicago, Illinois

Loud boyfriend: Where's the rest of it? You only needed five dollars for the hat. Where's the change?
Loud girlfriend: Give it a rest, Tommy. Okay, I gave you your change.
Loud boyfriend: You know, we need the fifteen dollars for the hotel, and I need hair gel.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Pbritches

Gay man to friend: He's not hot enough to have AIDS!

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: Rachel Kaiser

Teenage girl #1: I mean, what's the point of dating an ugly, short, junior with herpes and acne if he doesn't even have his learner's permit?
Teenage girl #2: Shut up and eat.

Shari's Restaurant
Beaverton, Oregon

Overheard by: Claire