Girl to friend, discussing a boy: So how nerdy is he? I mean, there's a nice nerdy, a cute nerdy…
Friend: You know that Jewish nerdy?
–College of Staten Island
Overheard by: Nameless
Girl to friend, discussing a boy: So how nerdy is he? I mean, there's a nice nerdy, a cute nerdy…
Friend: You know that Jewish nerdy?
–College of Staten Island
Overheard by: Nameless
Woman #1: Have you ever been to this place?
Woman #2: Yeah, Irish bar. You know those motherfuckers can drink.
Woman #3: You can say that again.
Woman #1: I don’t usually hang out in Irish bars. Too rowdy for me.
Woman #3: C’mon on, you’ll like it. Besides, the bartender is cute.
Woman #2: This chick I know fucked him but he is lousy in the sack. The only reason she banged him was because he’s good-looking and she gets free drinks.
Woman #1: Too bad the good-looking ones are always dumb and suck. If he’s that good-looking I’d fuck him too. Drinks in this fucking city are expensive as hell. Why not? Let’s see what your friend is talking about.
–44th & 8th
Princess: First I got on the wrong train–going uptown instead of downtown—and there was like (*sigh*) not a single pretty person on the train. Only in New York. I can’t imagine being anywhere else in the world, getting on the train and not seeing a single attractive person!
–Union Square Station
Overheard by: Phil Rosenbloom
Guy: Hottest piece of ass I’ve ever seen.
Girl: She is beautiful, huh?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: So you think they’re real?
Guy: I dunno.
Girl: I think they’re natural.
–Houston & Lafayette
Guy: Who would you rather have sex with? The girl with the lazy eye or the fat chick?
Girl: Lazy eye.
Guy: Yeah, she’s got a good body.
—Style Court Audience
Overheard by: Tibbie X
Hipster: I went to a Polish beauty pageant last night in Brooklyn. It totally blew my brains apart.
–Williamsburg
Yuppie: He said, “I’m a beautiful man, I deserve to be with a beautiful woman.” Because he’s so in love with himself he’s so lazy in bed.
–Williamsburg
Haircutter: So she wanted me to put wax in her hair. And I told her I didn’t have any, that it’s $19 a bottle and if I get some for everyone I’ll go through it in no time. So she says that I should buy it for my customers. If she likes it so much, she should go buy it herself. I mean, it’s one thing if the cunt were a good tipper.
–Astor Place [Translated from the Russian]
Yuppie #1: I only went to Brazil for a month, but on my third day there I met her.
Yuppie #2: Women in South America are so hot. Especially Brazil and Spain.
–Belgian Beer Bar, Greenwich Village
Guy: You are a compelling argument against homosexuality. You are a very pretty girl.
–72nd St Station
