Girl #1: No, dammit. Not Italian. I’m so fat, you guys.
Girl #2: What? Shut up! You’re skinnier than all my other friends. You’re skinnier than me!
Girl #1: I have a fat soul.
Guy: The word you’re looking for is “jolly.”
–N train
Girl #1: No, dammit. Not Italian. I’m so fat, you guys.
Girl #2: What? Shut up! You’re skinnier than all my other friends. You’re skinnier than me!
Girl #1: I have a fat soul.
Guy: The word you’re looking for is “jolly.”
–N train
Girl on bike: I want a penis. Can I have a penis?
Guy on bike: Maybe later.
Girl on bike: Cause this way we don’t have to worry about babies.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Steve E
Letch: So, are you traveling for business or pleasure?
PYT: Neither, I’m going to see my mother.
–JFK Airport bar
Chick: So I said to him, “Your mom’s dead, so why don’t you chill with us on Mother’s Day?”
–Thompson & Houston
Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
Professor: Where is the line between what is homosexual and what is not? Is a circle jerk not gay? Oh, god. I’m sorry to anyone who doesn’t know what that is.
–NYU
Girl: It makes you look gay, and I don’t mean good gay.
–The Gap, 17th St & 5th Ave
Flamboyant man on cell: I got you the one that had an ‘L.V.’ on it… How am I supposed to know what that means? I’m not that kind of gay!
–Grand St & Broadway
Overheard by: callmedrpalmer
TA: We can talk about boy sex, but we can’t talk about homosexuality.
–Classroom, NYU
Queer: Wait, how did you end up the gayest? Because I started out the gayest!
–Time Square
Overheard by: Tourist Who Blends
Bimbette: No, Jesus was gay. That’s the only solution.
–4 train
Overheard by: solution to what?
Man: All I’m saying is that if Jesus was beautiful on the inside, he was beautiful on the outside, so I know he had ladies looking at him.
Bimbette #1: Well, I know everything began in Africa.
Bimbette #2: That’s right. You know they have the indentation in Africa where the devil landed? They built a church over it to try to make it holy. I saw it on The Exorcist.
–4 train
Girl #1: Where do eggs come from? I mean, do chickens have vaginas?
Girl #2: I don’t want to know.
Girl #1: I mean, I was thinking about this the other day. Where do they come out of the chicken?
Girl #2: Let’s just drop it.
Girl #1 to Girl #3: What, does she not like chickens?
–MoMA
Overheard by: El Pollo
Senior girl #1: So, what is that ‘Derfer’ thing I keep seeing all those signs about?
Senior girl #2: What?
Senior girl #1: You know, Derfer — D-A-R-F-U-R
Senior girl #2: Dare-fyore? Hmmm, I don’t know.
Senior girl #1: Whatever. Anyways…
–Townsend Harris High
Chick: So, Jerry Springer was in my office today, and I overheard him telling the guy he was talking to on the phone that I was attractive.
Queer: Wow. I hate you. In the best way possible. I hate you.
Chick: Why? Because he’s my new boyfriend?
Queer: Because one of the coolest sketchy famous people in the world called you attractive in a remarkably sketchy way. If I ever have to talk you off a self-esteem ledge again, I’m tagging out and killing myself.
–46th & 6th
Overheard by: Gays and their Hags, on the next Springer!
Girl #1: For our next trip, my parents want to go on a cruise to Alaska.
Girl #2: Oh my god, no! Haven’t you seen the Titanic?
Girl #1: I know, right? Plus, it’s cold. I mean look at March of the Penguins. They die there.
–F train
Queer: So some stranger just approached me and asked me to fuck her and her husband on Staten Island…Wait, it was Ellis Island. Yeah, she wanted me to fuck with the Statue of Liberty.
Hag: Oh, that’s too bad. Staten Island is nice.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Tina L.
Guy: I am sapien-sexual. That means I am into minds, not bodies!
Bimbette: I’ve never been into vocabulary.
–11th & University
Overheard by: Maggie
