Guy #1: I bought Xbox to play Spiderman 2.
Guy #2: I bought it to play Knights of the Old Republic.
Guy #3: I bought PlayStation One to play Final Fantasy Seven.
Chick: You’re all losers who don’t deserve girlfriends.
–Office, 47th & 6th
Overheard by: Joe
Chick #1: And they smoked pot like crazy!
Little kid: What’s pot?
Chick #2: Who the hell is talking to you? Go fuck yourself.
Kid runs away crying.
Chick #1: Kids today are terrible. Parents need to start beating their kids again.
Chick #2: Word.
–Tompkins Square Park Playground
Lady at register: My great-grandmother had nine strokes and still lived to be 98 years old.
Barista: Wow, nine strokes?!
Lady at register: Yeah, I think she was doing it on purpose. You know, to get attention.
–Starbucks, Broadway
White girl: I don’t get that girl. I just don’t like her.
Black boyfriend: Why?
White girl: Because if I don’t like someone, I tell them. Straight at their face, I’m like, ‘I don’t like you.’ But she be talking behind people’s backs and shit. It’s not cool, yo.
Black boyfriend: Yeah.
White girl: And she thinks she’s ghetto, but she’s not. We ghetto — she’s not.
–Uptown C platform, 34th St
Biotech #1: I hate her, she’s so ugly.
Biotech #2: She’s a drag queen.
–Trump Atrium Party, 5th Ave between 56th & 57th
Overheard by: Tim
Club dude: Yeah, but I don’t understand why she won’t talk to me.
Club dudette: Because she’s attractive and you’re ugly.
Club dude: Oh, yeah, okay, that makes sense.
–Meatpacking district
Overheard by: Harrison
Hobo: Spare some change?
Woman: Sorry, I don’t like homeless people.
–96th St & Broadway
Woman: Oh, would you like to get by?
Japanese tourist: Yes, thank you.
Woman: You’re very welcome…[to friend] Got that bitch outta my hair.
–Century 21
Mother: Bitches, get your asses over here!
Son #1: There’s no seats.
Mother: There’s one right here next to me.
Son #2: I wanna sit next to him.
Mother: I said, motherfuckers, get your asses over here. I don’t want to sit by myself.
Son #1: There’s nowhere to sit!
Mother: I said, get over here. I don’t want to sit by myself. I don’t know no one over here!
Older woman: Don’t no one make friends with her.
–A train
Overheard by: Rehey
Little girl #1: Hey, Sarah, want a cookie?
Little girl #2: Yeah.
Little girl #1: Well, me too. Now get over it!
–E train
