Little boy pointing at St. Patrick’s Cathedral: Daddy, what is that?
Father: That’s a church. Maybe when you’re older we can go inside and look around.
Little boy: Daddy, are there rides in there?
Father: No, no rides.
–51st & 5th
Little boy pointing at St. Patrick’s Cathedral: Daddy, what is that?
Father: That’s a church. Maybe when you’re older we can go inside and look around.
Little boy: Daddy, are there rides in there?
Father: No, no rides.
–51st & 5th
Mother: Do they still have ninjas?
Six-year-old boy: Duh, Mom — in Japan.
Mother: Oh, I only knew about the Ninja Turtles.
–Escalator, Grand Central
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Middle school boy: Yo, you ever seen that show Sex and the City on HBO?
Three friends: No.
Middle school boy: I thought there’d be mad sex on it. There wasn’t any! They should call that show ‘White Bitches Talking.’
–Brooklyn Middle School
Boy #1: Seriously, that was, like, the coolest place I ever took a shit.
Boy #2: Wait, where were you?
Boy #1: I was on top of the mountain!
Boy #2: Oh.
–3rd St & 7th Ave
Man: You know that Santa Claus doesn’t exist, right?
Six-year-old boy: No, he does exist. When I wrote him a letter and asked him for pink Plush Puppies, I got them on Christmas.
Man: Dude, then you are a serious homosexual. What kind of boy asks for pink Plush Puppies?
–Rockaway
Overheard by: Bully
Wailing six-year-old boy: But whyyy?!
Mom: Well, I know, honey, but kick him in the shins, don’t kick him in the balls!
–Prince & Broadway
Teen boy: Mom, is it true that some people are both a man and a woman?
Mom: Yes. Well, sort of. Can we talk about this when we get home?
Teen boy: So does that mean they have, like, both–
Mom: –Yes, honey, now be quiet for a little while, okay?
Teen boy: Does that mean they can, like, do the slinky?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Mike N
Little boy #1: I wish dinosaurs lived in Central Park.
Little boy #2: Dinosaurs aren’t real — they’re from the TV.
Little boy #3: Dinosaurs are real, they just live on other planets.
Little boy #2: Like Pluto!
Little boy #1: Pluto isn’t a planet anymore. The scientists blowed it up.
–M86 bus
Overheard by: pluto is still a planet to me
Little boy: What is that?
Mom: That’s a brain.
Little boy: Evil brain?
Mom: No, it’s not evil.
–Bodies Exhibit, South St Seaport
Four-year-old boy to random woman: Why did the skeleton go out to dinner?
Woman: Why?
Four-year-old boy: Because he wanted to get some ribs! [Boy and brother laugh hysterically.]Boys’ mom: Oh, Benjamin, you’re so shy.
Four-year-old boy: I’m not shy! I talk a lot because I’m drunk! [Ladies nearby laugh, mother blushes.] … I farted.
–LIRR
