Indian dude sitting outside laundromat: It wasn’t a baby! It wasn’t a real, white baby!
Blonde: It was a genuine baby!
–Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Indian dude sitting outside laundromat: It wasn’t a baby! It wasn’t a real, white baby!
Blonde: It was a genuine baby!
–Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Conductor: Attention, passengers, this J Train is now going express to Myrtle. You hear me? Express. Express! There is a local train right behind this one. This train is going express! [Mob of angry passengers exits train.] Psych! This is a local J Train to Manhattan. Next stop: Chauncey. Please enjoy the leg room brought to you by the New York City MTA.
–Broadway Junction Station, Brooklyn
Overheard by: JRider
Middle-aged white lady: What are you trying to do? You are so rude! I can’t believe you! I am going to get you fired!
Clerk: [Silence.]Middle-aged white lady, to entire line: Can you believe these people? They are so rude! I can’t believe they are trying to short me my coffee! It’s unbelievable!
Young black man: Stop being so white.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, Atlantic & 4th, Brooklyn
Crunchy-haired woman: She used to make peanut butter and jelly with cheese… PB and J with American cheese.
Tattoo guy: Ew, that is so messed up.
Crunchy-haired woman: Yeah, but anyways, I really got into it with this lady at my support group today. She said somethin’ I didn’t like.
Tattoo guy: What happened this time?
Crunchy-haired woman: It was about the cherry issue… She was gettin’ on my case because I ate some fuckin’ cherries. I’m like, ‘What the fuck? What’s the big deal? I have a thing for cherries and so what that I can’t have just one, I have to have a whole bag?’ Fuck, I ate a fucking bag of cherries, big deal. So she was getting on me, saying I was one of those people who doesn’t try to get better…
–Brooklyn
Man, about others yelling in street: Yo! This is just like reality TV, man!
Passerby: You mean reality is?
Man: Uh…
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Maggie
Hipster to friend about passing gaggle of hipsterettes: Dude, tits — that’s all you’re staring at.
–Meserole St & Manhattan Ave, Greenpoint
Overheard by: napalm kitty
Older drunk, tightly hugging young guy: … And don’t think I’m gonna forget. When that happened, who gave me new underwears and washed my ass?
Younger guy, trying to get away: Man, just forget about that!
Older drunk: No! I’m not gonna forget about that!
–Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Pointing hobo: Your zipper! Hahaha!
Whitey: It’s a button fly.
Hobo: Goddamn. Second time today…
–Flushing & Portland, Navy Yard, Brooklyn
30-ish woman #1: I really didn’t know what a blowjob was ’til I was, like, really old.
30-ish woman #2: You mean until you actually had it in your mouth?
–Cobble Hill
20-something girl: Seriously, I love it when guys cum on my face.
20-something guy: Really?
20-something girl: Yeah, you can ask anyone.
–Greenpoint Ave & Manhattan Ave
Overheard by: Yael
