Brooklyn

Crunchy-haired woman: She used to make peanut butter and jelly with cheese… PB and J with American cheese.
Tattoo guy: Ew, that is so messed up.
Crunchy-haired woman: Yeah, but anyways, I really got into it with this lady at my support group today. She said somethin’ I didn’t like.
Tattoo guy: What happened this time?
Crunchy-haired woman: It was about the cherry issue… She was gettin’ on my case because I ate some fuckin’ cherries. I’m like, ‘What the fuck? What’s the big deal? I have a thing for cherries and so what that I can’t have just one, I have to have a whole bag?’ Fuck, I ate a fucking bag of cherries, big deal. So she was getting on me, saying I was one of those people who doesn’t try to get better…

–Brooklyn

Man, about others yelling in street: Yo! This is just like reality TV, man!
Passerby: You mean reality is?
Man: Uh…

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Maggie

Hipster to friend about passing gaggle of hipsterettes: Dude, tits — that’s all you’re staring at.

–Meserole St & Manhattan Ave, Greenpoint

Overheard by: napalm kitty

Older drunk, tightly hugging young guy: … And don’t think I’m gonna forget. When that happened, who gave me new underwears and washed my ass?
Younger guy, trying to get away: Man, just forget about that!
Older drunk: No! I’m not gonna forget about that!

–Greenpoint, Brooklyn

Pointing hobo: Your zipper! Hahaha!
Whitey: It’s a button fly.
Hobo: Goddamn. Second time today…

–Flushing & Portland, Navy Yard, Brooklyn

30-ish woman #1: I really didn’t know what a blowjob was ’til I was, like, really old.
30-ish woman #2: You mean until you actually had it in your mouth?

–Cobble Hill

20-something girl: Seriously, I love it when guys cum on my face.
20-something guy: Really?
20-something girl: Yeah, you can ask anyone.

–Greenpoint Ave & Manhattan Ave

Overheard by: Yael

Creepster #1: So, I wrote her an e-mail that said, ‘Your titties look really nice. They look really succulent.’
Creepster #2: You wrote ‘succulent’?
Creepster #1: Yeah, I said, ‘Your titties look succulent in photo number five.’
Creepster #2: That’s fucked up.
Creepster #1: I know, but…

–Union & Smith, Brooklyn

Overheard by: crowin

Lady with disposable camera prominently featuring ‘Flash’ label: Does this camera have a flash?
Employee, to cashier: Does this have a flash?
Cashier, not looking: Yes.
Employee: This has a flash.
Lady: Are you sure? [To her mother] I hope this has a flash.

–CVS, Kings Hwy & Nostrand Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: The Yankee

Woman #1: Have you read [some book]?
Woman #2: I don’t read books by white people — only books by black people.
Woman #1: What about books by black people pretending to be white people?
Woman #2, after long pause: I’m thinking.

–Target, Brooklyn