Wife, playing Uno: Skip, skip, skip, skip, wild card, draw four, blue, draw two, uno, I win.
Husband: Wow. I’m bleeding.
Wife: I hope it’s from the ass, because that’s where I just raped you.
Husband: God, I love you.
–Central Park
Wife, playing Uno: Skip, skip, skip, skip, wild card, draw four, blue, draw two, uno, I win.
Husband: Wow. I’m bleeding.
Wife: I hope it’s from the ass, because that’s where I just raped you.
Husband: God, I love you.
–Central Park
Girlfriend, drinking sake: This is the dumbest method of consuming alcohol I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen keg stands!
Boyfriend: I’ve done keg stands!
Girlfriend: I can’t believe I’m dating you.
–Blue Ribbon Sushi
Guy: I’m domestic.
Chick: You are so not domestic.
Guy: I’m a lazy domestic.
Chick: You leave bags of garbage on the floor of your room for days at a time!
Guy: Whatever. Domesticated cows shit inside.
–111th between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: djlindee
Girl #1: Oh my gosh, this is so cool.
Girl #2: I know. [Smiles.]Girl #1: Thanks for bringing me here, I love you. I am so glad I became a lesbian, if I wasn’t I wouldn’t have met you!
Girl #2: Aww, thanks. Do you want to go to my apartment now?
Girl #1: Yes! Let’s go. Are we going to have fun like we did last night?
Girl #2: Even more, baby.
–M&M Store, Times Square
Tourist husband: Hey, look, a Starbucks.
Tourist Wife: Ooo…
–44th & 8th
Boyfriend, racing down the stairs: Oh crap, is that the train? Please not the d, please let it not be the d, please let it not be the fucking d!
Girlfriend, thoughtfully: Well, it doesn't sound like the d…
–34th St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
20-ish guy: What do I want for lunch?
20-ish chick: I don’t know… Would you call me a socialist?
20-ish guy: No, not to your face.
–2 train
Overheard by: sarah
Boyfriend: Don’t be mad.
Girlfriend: Don’t be gay.
–Union Square Park
Girlfriend: He's not, like, the ideal tenant, know what I mean?
Boyfriend: Yeah, I know.
Girlfriend, to pooping bulldog: Sit! God, you're such an ass! Sit!
–9th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Tom Fickle
Husband in theater: Water? I never touch the stuff. Fish fuck in it.
Wife, looking around, embarrassed: Go on, honey. Have another beer.
–Shakespeare in the Park, Delacourte Theatre
Overheard by: Heather Smaha
