Middle-aged crossing guard lady #1: G’mornin’, sweetheart! You look tired!
Middle-aged crossing guard lady #2: Oh, honey, I’m so hungover…
Passing child, to parent: On a Tuesday?
–7th & 8th, Park Slope
Middle-aged crossing guard lady #1: G’mornin’, sweetheart! You look tired!
Middle-aged crossing guard lady #2: Oh, honey, I’m so hungover…
Passing child, to parent: On a Tuesday?
–7th & 8th, Park Slope
Man: Dude, your marketing department — they’re like a bunch of baby birds!
Woman: I know! And I’m sick of throwing up in their mouths.
–57th & 5th
Male professor: Oh, by the way, I saw Professor Ames* when I was in Chicago last weekend.
Female dean: Oh! Is he still as hot as he always was?
Male professor: [Blank stare.]Female dean: … In his field…
–NYU
Male employee #1 refolding shit-load of shirts: If I ever see a girl on the street wearing one of these shirts, I’m gonna punch her in the face.
Male employee #2: Yeah.
–Urban Outfitters, 11th & 2nd
Overheard by: Shelby
Worker #1: Wasn’t he friends with Angelo?
Worker #2: No, Angelo hated him. Angelo hired two bums to beat the crap out of him around the corner.
–32nd & 2nd
Counter girl #1 : That’s that shit you gotta get — a douche.
Counter girl #2 : Nah, I don’t fuck around with that shit.
Counter girl #1 : No, but that’s what gets you tight again!
Counter girl #2 : Oh, then I definitely need to get me some of that!
–Duane Reade, 88th & Broadway
Overheard by: Evan
Coworker chick #1: You ready, spaghetti?
Coworker chick #2: [Silence.]Coworker chick #1: Well?!
Coworker chick #2: Wait, I’m thinking.
Coworker chick #1: Oh, okay.
Coworker chick #2: Like Lawrence Ferlinghetti!
–84th & 3rd
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Man in elevator A: Hey, Bob!
Man in elevator B, across the hall: Oh! Hi there! [Doors close.] He should just resign.
–Actors’ Equity building
Overheard by: Cat
Cheese shop girl: ‘I want a hard cheese…’ Ugh! Hard like Parmesan or–
Cheese shop guy: –I fucking hate people who order by texture!
–F station, Bergen St
Overheard by: Maddy
