Girl #1: Your mama is so fat that she jumped in the pool and yelled “2012!”
Girl #2: What?
Boy: Have you heard of “yo mama” jokes?
–Harman St, Ridgewood
Overheard by: John Ainley
Girl #1: Your mama is so fat that she jumped in the pool and yelled “2012!”
Girl #2: What?
Boy: Have you heard of “yo mama” jokes?
–Harman St, Ridgewood
Overheard by: John Ainley
An elevator equipped with a TV monitor shows a news segment of a man who just rescued a person swept away by floodwaters in California.
Yuppie Prick #1: Wow, that guy is fat. Can you imagine him saving anyone?
Yuppie Prick #2: Nope!
Fat Bystander: Not unless it was your miserable ass in the water, and he was savin’ you, jerkoff!
–Midtown elevator
Girl #1: … So, do you have a thing for him?
Girl #2: No. I mean he’s cute, but he’s overweight and doesn’t dress that well.
Girl #1: That never stops me!
–1 Train
Overheard by: p9
Hobo: Hey, excuse me, excuse me…Excuse me. I just want to tell you that you are a beautiful girl. Really, no, really, you beautiful. You should go to Hollywood. You stay beautiful, girl, and remember you will always be beautiful…Just don’t get fat.
Girl: Well that’s the most honest compliment I’ve ever gotten.
–F train
Overheard by: kdice
Woman in dressing room: Dear God!
Employee: Ma’am, is everything okay?
Woman, bursting from room and throwing corset at employee: Just– Just take this far away from me!
–Victoria’s Secret, Herald Square
Blonde #1: Look — a statue of Gandhi.
Blonde #2: Look how skinny he is.
Blonde #1: I’m hella-jealous.
Blonde #2: Ditto. I wonder how he did it.
Blonde #1: Anorexia, probably.
Blonde #2: Figures. Maybe him and Nicole Richie are related [giggles].
Blonde #1: I don’t get it — she’s not Indian, is she?
–Union Square
Overheard by: kwhatwhat
Guy: You're back on the poverty diet?
Girl: Well, I've had four lattes…
Guy: You're totally on the poverty diet.
–Cafe Esperanto
Guy: Awww, man, did you hear? Billy's in the hospital!
Girl: Oh no! What happened?
Guy: He only ate bananas and pop for like two weeks straight.
Girl: Shit, that sucks. Poor Billy!
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Asian girl: But see, pretty people don’t look for people who are gorgeous. If you’re good looking, you don’t need to look for someone cute. You don’t need to look for more of that.
Hispanic girl: Mm-hmm.
Asian girl: You know, you look for a complement to you in a relationship.
Hispanic girl: So which one of us is the ugly one?
–14th & 3rd
Hefty chick #1: Well, I didn’t want to fight her, but she called me a fat bitch.
Hefty chick #2: Oh, lawd!
Hefty chick #1: So I backed up on her and dropped her with my elbow.
–41st St. & 7th Ave.
