Guy: Yeah, and then there was uncle Marty, who was on his knees throwing balls at her…
Sydney
Australia
Guy: Yeah, and then there was uncle Marty, who was on his knees throwing balls at her…
Sydney
Australia
Bawling small girl in grocery store, after not getting what she asked: But, mom, I'm crying really hard!
Ingersoll Avenue
Des Moines, Iowa
Teen girl: Dad, stop talking about Hugh Grant's penis!
Concord, Massachusetts
Girl on phone: Hi, mom, sorry I didn't call you back… I was busy having sex.
Melbourne
Australia
Chick #1: But everyone was happy. It was a happy funeral.
Chick #2: Wow, your grandma must have been a real bitch.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Four-year-old boy: Daddy! I wanna get hammered!
(mom pulls out a toy rubber hammer, sighing)
Dad, to everyone around: Shhhhh, nobody heard that! If you did, little forgetfulness fairies will fly into your mind!
Airport
Phoenix, Arizona
Woman: My mom was in the hospital with brain cancer. Then my cousin showed up, and I asked her if she wanted to, you know, go to a craft store and get something for mom. Well, on the walk over, she… (makes farting noises). So you can imagine how upset I was.
YMCA
Beloit, Wisconsin
Tourist, yelling at husband who went to magazine kiosk : Get the magazine! Not the paper! Magazine! (husband comes back with paper) *Sigh* Men…they're the same everywhere.
Kuala Lumpur
Malaysia
Guy: My sister and I are twins, but I was born first.
Woman #1: Do you mean you just came out first?
Guy: Well, see, what happened was I am two years older than my sister. [Everyone stares at each other.]Woman #2: … So you and your sister are twins, but she is two years younger?
Guy: Oh, wait, I’m getting confused with another family story. I am two years older than my sister, but I’m pretty sure we’re not twins, either.
900 West Valley Road
Wayne, Pennsylvania
Coworker: Where were you? You were meant to be in work at 7!
Drunk Slovakian guy arriving at work: I drank Jack Daniels until 5 this morning, then went to bed. I woke at nine and fucked Jane, then got my brother to drop me off at work.
Craigavon
Northern Ireland
