Wednesday Wears the One-Liners in This Family

Southern tourist in pink pants: I don’t see anybody else wearing pink pants around here!

–73rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Girl on cell, wearing leggings and a t-shirt: Oh, shit, I forgot to put on pants again.

–Columbia University

Lady in corner stall: Damn, I done sweated through my pants!

–Restroom, 1 Liberty Plaza

Smug girl to gaggle: No, these are my period pants. My mom washed them for me!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: bih.

Thug: I’m the only playa in the hood with his pants on his waist!

–10th & Ave B

Overheard by: Kayla K

Conductor over intercom: Attention, all crew members! Be sure you have your pants! Hey, Larry, you got yo’ pants?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Geologist

Posted on July 22, 2022
Body Parts, Clothing, Colors, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Default, Family Ties, Girls, Menstruation, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On Cell, Penn Station, Physical appearance, Public Transportation, Questions, Southerners, Street, Subway conductors, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Sweat, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness

At Least They Agree About a Silly Outfit

Proud Asian father to friend: And my little one here, he's going to be a football player when he grows up!
Little Asian boy: No way, Jose! I'm gonna be a Power Ranger!

–East Flatbush, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Frado

Posted on July 20, 2022
Asians, Boys, Brooklyn, Comebacks, Dads, Family Ties, Football, Friends, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Parents, TV

Can We at Least Agree That Two Whites Don't Make a Wong?

Highly agitated gay man, bleach-blond, indeterminately biracial: My mother was black! She died in 1999!
Middle aged black woman: Now, wait a second…
Highly agitated gay man: My mother was black and my father was Chinese!
Middle aged black woman: Now, you just don't worry about them…
Highly agitated gay man: If I'm white, it's because my black mother was white!
Middle aged black woman: Now you're just bein' crazy.

–Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: MPW

Posted on May 12, 2022
Black People, Brooklyn, Death, Family Ties, Queer guys, Race, Women

… So I Maced Him.

College girl: Whenever I tell anyone that I was there when you dislocated your shoulder they ask if it’s my fault ’cause we were having sex.
20-ish guy: Hahaha! Yeah, me, too. I had one guy ask me, ‘Did it happen while you were [pelvic thrusts] uh, uh, uh?’
College girl, excitedly: That’s exactly what my dad said!

–Riverside Park

Overheard by: Vicksburg

Posted on April 29, 2022
Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Family Ties, Health and Hygiene, Sex, Students, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

That Crowd at the Olive Garden Was Only Like Family

Blonde: Fine, whatever, then I’ll just paint a picture of your family so we never need to fucking talk about this again.
Brunette: You just don’t get it!

–The Met

Posted on April 28, 2022
Arts & Letters, Family Ties, Friends, Talking/Convos, The Met

Alfred the Human Polygraph Had Yet to Learn to Control His Power

Chick: You know, even though I'm 22, every time I go out, when I'm home my mom still waits up for me.
Random guy: No, she doesn't.

–6 Train

Posted on April 27, 2022
Age/Aging, Family Ties, Girls, Guys, On the Subway, Weirdness

Girls Will Do Anything for a Free Makeover

Girl #1: I just don’t know what he sees in me.
Girl #2: Maybe the same thing you see in him.
Girl #1: Well, I like him because his dad’s a mortician.

–Park Slope

Posted on April 11, 2022
Creepsters, Death, Family Ties, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Park Slope, Questions, Sex & Relationships

On Tonight's Episode Of My Seventeen Dads…

Exasperated mother: C'mon, we're going to be late.
Hyperactive boy: No! We have to wait for daddy!
Exasperated mother: What? Your father's in Philly.
Hyperactive boy: My other daddy!
Exasperated mother: Who, Bob?
Hyperactive Boy: No, Gary!

–1 Train

Overheard by: Mommy's Been Busy