Fashion

The L-Wednesday-One-Liner

Woman to friend: Hey, you know, this is where that lesbian touched my ass!

–W 3rd Ave & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Sakura

Chick on cell: We’re, like, the best pseudo-lesbian couple who send out erotic postcards in the world. And you can quote me on that, missy!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: McFreaky

Man wearing rainbow wig and playing a ukulele: This next song is dedicated to all the fathers out there who play with their children and take them places. To the fathers who don’t — the lesbians have a point.

–In line for Statue of Liberty

Overheard by: Stas

Nine-year-old boy: I am a lesbian, I am a lesbian…

–Central Park

Girl showing necklace to friend: You’re a raging dyke! Would you wear this?

–Canal & Church St

Overheard by: NYCDoll

An Old-School Reagan Republican

Tight jeans #1: It’s like the only way to be a punk these days is to be a Republican.
Tight jeans #2: I know.

–2nd Ave, between 7th & 8th St

Overheard by: Tim

Boredom, Mostly

Janitor: I’m sorry, ma’am, you can’t wear boots on the equipment.
20-something woman wearing Uggs on elliptical machine: But these are orthopedic boots!
Janitor: I’m sorry, but it’s against policy to wear the boots on the machines.
20-something woman wearing Uggs: Why are you doing this to me?

–Dodge YMCA, Atlantic Ave

Do You Know How Much the Kids Who Make Those Get Paid?

Chick pointing to friend wearing Nike Air Force Ones: Girl, I can’t believe you had rough sex in those shoes!
Guy passerby: That shit’s disgusting! That girl’s disgusting!

–42nd & Broadway

Farmer: And I Still Would If I Thought I Could Get Away with It

Black guy: Yo, you know what ‘FUBU’ stand for?
Black girl: Yeah, ‘For Us, by Us.’
Black guy: Naw, it stand for ‘Farmers Used to Beat Us.’
Black girl: It does not! It’s ‘For Us, by Us’!
Black guy: That’s what they want you to think. Everybody knows it’s ‘Farmers Used to Beat Us.’
Black girl: There ain’t no ‘T’ in ‘FUBU’!
Black guy: That don’t matter.
Black girl: You ign’ant, nigga!

–Midtown

Overheard by: Greg Reeves

Because a Nose Ring Isn’t Worth Going off My Diet

Random chick: You guys waiting in line?
Freshman girl: Yeah, I’m getting my nose pierced.
Random chick: Oh, nice… My friend just got hers done. It’s not supposed to be that bad.
Freshman girl: Do you know if it gets in the way of blowing lines?
Random chick, taken aback: Uhhh… Well, I guess you always have another nostril…

–St. Mark’s

Overheard by: face

Dad’s Putting Your Stuff on the Front Lawn As We Speak

Mom: How about this hat? Try this on.
Daughter: What? Ew, no, I’ll look like a homeless person!
Mom: You are homeless.

–Kmart, Astor Place

Overheard by: mia

Gave Her Mom a ‘MoMa’ Tote for Christmas

20-something chick: Dad, isn’t this bracelet cute?! It was made just for you! Look, it says ‘Dada’ on it.
Dad: [Silent.]20-something chick: I mean, we have to get one for you — they totally made these for Dads!
Dad: Um, ‘Dada’ was the name of a surrealist movement.
20-something chick: Oh, that they, like, named after dads?

–MoMa Design Store, Midtown

Overheard by: Addie Wagenknecht

Can We Agree that They’re Cool?

Chick #1 browsing Star magazine: African babies are totally the new black.
Chick #2: Um, I’m pretty sure African babies are the old black, too.

–6 train

Overheard by: ABSNOLA

And What’s Labor?

Fashionista #1: Oh my god, look — white pants after Labor Day — so trashy.
Fashionista #2: Ew. Yeah.
Fashionista #1: When is Labor Day, anyway?
Fashionista #2: I don’t know.

–SoHo

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