Girl #1: Somebody in a limo yelled something obscene at me today, but I couldn’t hear them because I had my iPod on.
Girl #2: Yeah, you should always have your iPod on so you can’t hear the terrible things people shout at you.
Girl #1: But then I wouldn’t have any material for my memoirs!
–Brooklyn-bound Q train
Overheard by: Monia Paford
Guy #1: We could go by Mike’s
Guy #2: Which Mike? Fun Mike or Shitty Mike?
Guy #1: I always forget which one is which with you.
Guy #1: Fun Mike always pays for everything… Shitty Mike always has no money and throws up.
Guy #2: You’d think I could keep that straight.
–Bloomingdale’s, 60th & 3rd Ave
Girl #1: And then there was the stabbing.
Guy: Whaaa?
Girl #1: She stabbed a cab driver.
Girl #2: Well, he started it!
–Cafe Mogador, St. Marks Place
Overheard by: Eric
Ghetto girl #1: My boyfriend, he’s ghetto, you know.
Ghetto girl #2: Ghetto how, like ghetto ‘Can’t bring him to a work function ghetto,’ or ‘Ghetto, can’t bring home to mama ghetto’?
Ghetto girl #1: Definitely ‘Can’t bring him to a work function ghetto…’ And ‘I can’t bring him to mama ghetto.’
Ghetto girl #2: Yeah, he’s ghetto.
Ghetto girl #1: Yeah, but we are too.
Ghetto girl #2: No we’re not! Hey, where are you going, we were supposed to go into the Gap.
–34th & Broadway
Overheard by: kate
Girl #1: So I felt really bad for him because he’s 53 years old and just got fired from the one job he knows how to do. But then he got that horse and his life turned around.
Girl #2: I know, he has a large studio in Soho so it has plenty of room to run around, and now he no longer has to ride in cabs or subways.
Girl #1: Yeah. I should get a horse too.
–Union Square & 16th St
Guy #1: Aww man, Anna Nicole’s son died?
Guy #2: Dude, that happened like a week ago.
Guy #3: Ask him what happened on Dragonball Z last night and I bet he could tell you!
Guy #1: Naw man, I missed it yesterday!
–114th & Broadway
Girl: That Susan’s such a whore.
Guy: Yeah, but wouldn’t you be?
Girl: What?
Guy: You know, hypothetically, if you could get people to sleep with you.
–11th & C
Girl #1: Wow, you got your nose pierced!
Girl #2: Yeah, I got it yesterday
Girl #1: How did they do it? Gun or needle?
Girl #2: Gun.
Girl #1: Ah ok, how do they fit a gun up there?
–McDonalds
Overheard by: Ness
Ghetto girl #1: Yo, he better treat me better than that. I’m talking roses, bling, Red Lobster…
Ghetto girl #2: Girl that’s so true, I’m puttin’ that on my Myspace.
–Union Square
Overheard by: D. P.S.
Guy: I can’t believe he’s gone. He was such a good man.
Girl: I know, I feel so bad for Susan.
Older woman: I know, poor Susan. He was everything to her.
Older man: I know, what a wonderful guy he was. I remember that party we all went to, he had so much fun. [Whispering to older woman] Who are we here to see again?
–Funeral Home, Queens
Overheard by: Glad I’m not Susan
