Gadgets

Suit: I read that they’re gonna be replaced by robots soon. A robot’s not gonna complain about pension.

–4 train

Overheard by: Charles

Woman: What ever happened to Ceci?
Man: Ceci?
Woman: Yeah, Ceci. That little girl that got her fingers cut off. The pretty little crackhead with the beautiful soul.

–116th & Frederick Douglass

Overheard by: Melissa Berry

Junkie lady: Wow, that thing is nice, what year is it?
Yuppie guy: ’06, I just got it.
Junkie lady: ’06? That shit ain’t even here yet. You better put that in a garage, nigga!
Yuppie guy: I don’t have money for that or for you.

–Bed-Stuy

Overheard by: Art Vandelay

Guy #1: Dude, why are you texting my girlfriend?
Guy #2: She texted me.
Guy #1: I am going to call the whore right now.

–Lincoln Park, 9th Avenue

Overheard by: Mike DeVito

Girl on cell: What, did she say she thought I was going to hit her or something?…There was a customer there!

–Broadway & 70th

Overheard by: Vanessa Robinson

Chick #1: Ew! Did that man just take our picture with his cameraphone?
Chick #2: Ew! That is so rude! Why would he do that? Don’t look up. Don’t look up!
Man: Don’t flatter yourselves, ladies. A) You’re not nearly that hot, and B) I was sending a text message to my boyfriend.

–M57 bus

Overheard by: Peter S