Drunk girl #1: I wish Colette* would speak French to us.
Drunk girl #2: That would be, like, so awesome!
Drunk girl #3: Colette doesn’t speak French! Doesn’t she speak, like, Puerto Rican?
–Fordham University Ram Van
Overheard by: Ali McE
Drunk girl #1: I wish Colette* would speak French to us.
Drunk girl #2: That would be, like, so awesome!
Drunk girl #3: Colette doesn’t speak French! Doesn’t she speak, like, Puerto Rican?
–Fordham University Ram Van
Overheard by: Ali McE
Brunette: But… I don’t know what to say to him. What do you say to that?
Redhead: Just tell him you wanna use him like a pogo stick.
–Line at Helen Hayes Theater
Girl, squealing: You may kiss me, I consent!
Guy: I’d rather have a dwarf chew off my balls. I hate you.
–Museum of Sex
Bimbette #1: Have you ever noticed that lemon-lime soda tastes like urine after a few minutes of not drinking it?
Bimbette #2: Nope.
Bimbette #1: Well, it does. That’s why you have to keep drinking it — so it doesn’t taste bad. Then you get addicted to it and you buy more. It’s a clever marketing scheme.
Bimbette #2: Has the government been probing your brain lately?
–Grand Central
Girl: He was wearing a t-shirt that said ‘My Jewish Mother Gave Me Two Options: Law school or Medical school.’
Guy: I like that. I should make a shirt for my friend that says ‘My Irish Catholic Mother Gave Me Two Options: Marry the Asshole Who Knocked Me Up and Live a Life of Alcoholic Domestic Violence or Join the Sisters of Saint Ignatius.’ ‘Cause clearly she chose neither.
Girl: What do you mean?
Guy: She said, ‘To hell with this religious bullshit,’ had an abortion, got her MBA, and is now a Junior VP at a Midtown PR firm.
Girl: Are you trying to say that religion is bullshit?
Guy, patting girl on head: No, sweetie. You go find yourself that guy wearing the Jewish mother t-shirt and you’ll be fine.
–R train
20-something girl: I once broke up with a guy because he was too small.
Queer: Yikes.
20-something girl: It wouldn’t have been a problem if he could have, you know, made up for it in other ways.
Queer: He wasn’t creative?
20-something girl: He was in advertising.
–26th St, between 7th & 8th
Guy: I like Kevin Costner.
Girl: Me too, but I have a vagina, which makes it okay.
–54th & 9th
Overheard by: Trying to sleep
Chick: Your window of opportunity with me is really small. This is New York, you know? Hot people are a dime a dozen.
Guy: Yeah, okay…
Chick: But I’m in no hurry, by any means.
Guy: That’s a good place to be. I’m not about seriousness at all. I take everybody as they are. I’m just trying to get laid.
Chick: Aw, it’s so hard to find someone hot and smart who also has a good heart.
Guy: Totally.
Chick: I’m a total hippie.
Guy: That’s a good thing.
Chick: So say we bang…
–Starbucks, Union Square
Chick #1 browsing Star magazine: African babies are totally the new black.
Chick #2: Um, I’m pretty sure African babies are the old black, too.
–6 train
Overheard by: ABSNOLA
