Guy: So, how many did you get?
Girl: Ummm… 10.
Guy: Oh, you mean a retard’s dozen? I know, it’s a new low. Even for me.
–Bagel Maven, 7th Ave
Overheard by: Genevieve
Guy: So, how many did you get?
Girl: Ummm… 10.
Guy: Oh, you mean a retard’s dozen? I know, it’s a new low. Even for me.
–Bagel Maven, 7th Ave
Overheard by: Genevieve
Thug: Hey, Ma, you are one fine piece of ass. What do you like in a man?
Chick: I’ll tell you what I don’t like: fat mothafuckas calling me ‘Ma.’
–23rd & Lex
Overheard by: Renee
Girl #1: Go plant your seeds in another garden.
Girl #2: But I like him, he’s my tree.
Girl #3: That tree belongs to someone else — he’s already been peed on!
Girl #2: But I peed on him first!
–44th & Broadway
Girl #1: Hey, Sarah*, it’s great to see you! Great, um, tunic! Are those stretch pants?
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Oh! Because on you, they totally look like stretch pants! Rock on!
–Floyd bar, Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: A White Bear
Girl #1: What do you think of this dress?
Girl #2: It’s cute! But, oh my god, what is that weird bulge?
Girl #1: Ew! This sucks, my hernia totally got bigger!
Girl #3 yelling from another stall: Did you just say your hernia got bigger?!
Girl #1: Shhh! I’m so embarrassed!
Girl #2: Don’t worry, it’s just Forever 21.
–Dressing room, Forever 21, Union Square
Overheard by: Gillian
Dude #1: So it’s 5:30 and it doesn’t start until 7:00. That gives us two and a half hours.
Chick: An hour and a half.
Dude #2: Here’s the former English major telling the med school student how to do math.
–Madison Square Garden
Guy: Hey Beautiful, where you from?
Girl: Sao Paulo.
Guy: Oh yeah… Europe, right? Ain’t that where they make Absolut?
–38th & 7th
Overheard by: Mark Keller
Chick #1: Oh, look! That guy totally just whistled at you.
Chick #2: Uh, that’s a hobo.
Chick #1: God, you’re so judgmental. I bet he’s just a free spirit.
Hobo: [Twitches and screams unintelligibly.]
–Union Square
Smart girl #1: I didn’t know Lady Sovereign was white.
Smart girl #2: She’s not white, she’s British.
–Virgin Records
Girl: It was great — so smooth and quiet and roomy — there was tons of leg room!
Guy: Mhmmm…
Girl: Like, like, say these are my knees…
Guy: Those are your knees.
–Outside Penn Station
