Girls

Miss Hilton’s Publicist Keeps His Finger on the Pulse

Girl #1: Britney really needs to stop showing her hoo-ha all over Hollywood.
Girl #2: Seriously. If I see one more picture of her vag, I’ll vomit.
Girl #1: What, her mother didn’t teach her to put on panties?
Girl #2: Or get out of a car without showing her cooter?
Girl #3: I was on Perez Hilton dot com the other day, and they fully had pictures of her in all her glory.
Girl #2: Oh my god, was it bald? I heard it actually looked nice and neat.
Girl #3: Yeah, I guess it was okay. One of the nicer ones I’ve seen.
Guy at next table on cell: What? … Oh, sorry honey. No, I’m paying attention to you. I’m just at Starbucks, and some girls were, uh… talking really loud at the next table.

–Starbucks, Union Square

… Instead of 17

Girl #1: Ugh, my mom.
Girl #2: What about her?
Girl #1: She’s like, ‘Can you get me a beer?’
Girl #2: Yeah?
Girl #1: And I’m like, ‘You mean a case?’ And she says, ‘I don’t drink a case.’ And I’m all, ‘You mean, you could drink more?’
Girl #2: Oh, yeah?
Girl #1: Yeah… And thank god she’s fixed, otherwise I’d have, like, 18 brothers and sisters running around.

–6 train from 23rd St

Overheard by: Mark

Like, They’ll Be Dating Interracially and Shit

Guy in BYU tee: Let’s just face it — no one we meet here will be normal.
BYU girl: Yeah, you’re so right.

–Washington Square Park

Other Subway Hobos Can Smell That It’s My Territory

Chick #1 grabbing a pole on crowded subway: Ew! This pole is wet!
Chick #2: Huh?
Male stranger: Yeah, I just finished licking it.

–N train

Overheard by: Pamela

Get This Girl… a Magic Feather!

Teen girl #1: So wait, what does ‘DUMBO’ stand for?
Teen girl #2: Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass.
Teen girl #1: Oooh, so then that area by the Brooklyn Bridge is ‘BUMBO,’ right?

–Grimaldi’s, DUMBO

Overheard by: michael Ciancio

He’s a Mildly Obnoxious Bootlegger

Girl #1: So, I met a boy this weekend who isn’t an asshole drug dealer, for a change.
Girl #2: But he’s a drug dealer?
Girl #1: Who isn’t?
Girl #2: Um… me?
Girl #1: No. He’s not a drug dealer.
Girl #2: Oh! I thought you meant he’s a drug dealer, just not an asshole one.

–23rd St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Jackattack

But Just When Belinda Was Losing Hope, Jack Moved Her Up to Number Seven

Teen girl #1: I think Jack’s about to break up with me again…
Teen girl #2: What? Why?
Teen girl #1: Yesterday I went to his MySpace, and he moved me to the bottom of his Top Eight!

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: wallsears

Because a Nose Ring Isn’t Worth Going off My Diet

Random chick: You guys waiting in line?
Freshman girl: Yeah, I’m getting my nose pierced.
Random chick: Oh, nice… My friend just got hers done. It’s not supposed to be that bad.
Freshman girl: Do you know if it gets in the way of blowing lines?
Random chick, taken aback: Uhhh… Well, I guess you always have another nostril…

–St. Mark’s

Overheard by: face

I Thought We Were Sharing

Girl #1: I’m going to be on time for the train.
Girl #2: I’m on E!

–Northbound on 3rd Ave

Overheard by: mish

I Should Always Get What I Don’t Really Want

Girl #1 running down subway steps as train pulls away: Hurry, hurry! … Shit! We just missed it!
Girl #2: We didn’t want a six train anyways.
Girl #1: I know… But it still pisses me off.

–4/5/6 platform, Union Square

Overheard by: Bean

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist