Girl #1: What did you get?
Girl #2: Just some blank CDs at Virgin.
Girl #1: Oh, really? Any good ones?
–Union Square
Headline by: mkb
Runners-Up:
· “And by blank CDs I mean ninja stars” – Circuit City Ginzu
· “I Hear That CD-R Is Going to Hit It Big Some Day” – Amanda
· “Someone Needs Her Neurons Popped” – adam a. n.
· “Yeah, This John Cage Anthology Fucking Rules” – t.a.m.s.y.
Hipster guy: Yeah, my dad’s a bird-petter.
Hipster girl: How much does he make for that?
Hipster guy: About three friends a year.
–R/W platform, 8th St
Overheard by: the imbiber
Girl #1: Did you go to the restaurant I told you? The one with the waiter who–
Girl #2: –Fucks you with his eyes? Oh, yes.
–AMC, Times Square
Girl #1: Oh my god, I just thought of something so cool!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Women are like magicians!
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: They pull bunnies out of hats, and we can pull babies out of our vaginas!
Girl #2: Wow, you’re so smart!
Girl #1: I know, right?
–Apple Store
Obnoxious teen #1: Oh my god! You like her? She’s a whore!
Obnoxious teen #2: Ummm… She’s in my math class, you know. She’s really smart.
Obnoxious teen #1: Smart and a whore. That just means she won’t get an STD.
–Nail salon, Bleecker St
Overheard by: Samideluxe
Guy about movie being shot on street: I bet it’s a shitty movie.
Set assistant girl: I’m sorry for the inconvenience, sir.
Guy: You’re a pain in the ass. How could you work for a company like that?
Set assistant girl: I’m sorry, sir.
Guy: You come in barging into our city…
Set assistant girl: The mayor gives the permits, sir.
Guy: Yeah, well, it’s a shitty movie.
Set assistant girl: Shut! Up!
–9th St & 5th Ave
Tweaker mom: Can I get my butter, please? I paid for my butter, and I’m taking my butter. I paid for it, I tipped for it, and I’m taking it [gets butter, then starts yanking child out the door].
Young daughter: Mommy, you don’t even like butter.
–Sunny & Annie Deli, 6th St & Ave B
Hungover chick #1: I was so drunk last night I can hardly even remember counting down.
Hungover chick #2: Did we even count down?
Hungover chick #1: Yeah, idiot.
Hungover chick #2: When?
–Lyric Diner, 22nd St & 3rd Ave
Little girl: Hey, my friend makes more money than you.
Employee: Yeah, I’m sure that’s true.
Little girl: No. Look at her — she’s seven and doesn’t have a job.
Employee: You’re making me feel much better.
–McDonald’s, Delancey & Essex
Girl #1: I looove Mexican food.
Girl #2: Me, too… just not people ordering it while they’re having sex with me.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
